Ah! Behold, dear audience, the illustrious Sieur Jean Bollinger, a trader of such renown that the mere mention of his name causes dullards and speculators alike to swoon! 😎
Yet even this mighty oracle of finance hath now raised his powdered wig in alarm, for alas!—the city is once again plagued by charlatans, those unsavory knaves who, with more guile than honesty, now play-act as his devoted partners. The impudence! The audacity!
Not content to merely borrow his name, these villains have boldly plagiarized the sacred tome, “Bollinger on Bollinger Bands” (ye olde classic of 2001), producing bootleg copies with a disregard for both law and literacy. 📚😏
The rascals parade under the exotic banner of ‘Diamond Ridge Asset Management’, a company with less substance than a soufflé at Versailles, I assure you.
Once our gullible hero feels the warmth of trust—oh, what an actor he must be—the rogues unveil their pièce de résistance: the phantasmagorical investment opportunity! O! If only their returns were as high as their tales were tall!
Observe the tragedy: a poor soul, led by promises shinier than a courtier’s shoes, parts with 60,000 dollars. That’s no mere sum—it’s enough to buy the entire wardrobe from “Les Précieuses ridicules”!
“Guy lost 60k. Made me sick!”
— John Bollinger (@bbands) May 1, 2025
But wait! The tale doth not end! For while our hero despairs of his name being sullied, he also fumes at this flagrant affront to copyright. “Never, never accept solicitations on ‘my’ behalf!!!” he declaims with the outrage of a king whose wig has been snatched.👑
In conclusion—friends, clients, countrymen, if an offer seems too enchanting, it is, like le théâtre, but illusion and powdered deceit!
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2025-05-02 09:16