So, the crypto rollercoaster just got wilder. Apparently, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent whispered to some lucky insiders that the US-China trade war is basically unsustainable — as if that wasn’t obvious — sending markets zooming like they’ve had one too many espressos. Bitcoin (BTC), our beloved digital diva, sashayed right past $93,000, flirting with that elusive $100,000 mark like it’s the hottest club in town. 💃💰
BTC’s surge left short sellers crying into their digital pillows, losing over $500 million in the chaos of liquidations. Currently, Bitcoin is strutting around at about $93,711, up more than 6% in just a day — take that, doubters! Meanwhile, Ethereum (ETH) wasn’t having any FOMO, shooting up a juicy 13%, flirting with $1,800 like a cat who just caught a red dot. And let’s not forget the entire crypto circus: Ripple, Solana, Dogecoin (yes, still barking!), Cardano, Chainlink, Stellar, Toncoin, Hedera, Polkadot, and Litecoin — basically, everyone got a slice of the rally pie. The whole market cap ballooned to a cool $2.93 trillion. Cha-ching!
Metaplanet’s Ambitious Bitcoin Hoarding Plan
In the land of serious crypto geeks, Metaplanet CEO Simon Gerovich casually dropped a bombshell: “We’re aiming for 10,000 BTC by 2025.” Yep, this is less “crypto closet collection,” more “global Bitcoin treasury takeover.” They’ve already snagged 4,855 BTC — making them Asia’s top dog and #10 worldwide. When investors wrinkled their noses about the rollercoaster stock price, Simon fired back that they’re in it for the long haul, not some get-rich-overnight sitcom.
“We are steadily executing on a clear strategy.” (Move over, Wall Street drama.)
Bitcoin holdings per share have leapt 119% this year, beating quarterly goals because obviously, Metaplanet doesn’t just hoard coins — they multiply them like digital rabbits. Plus, shareholder numbers jumped from under 10,000 to a whopping 65,000, attracting enough institutional eyeballs to feel like the cool kid on the crypto block.
Coinbase’s Bank License Daydream
Coinbase is flirting with the idea of becoming a US bank, which, in the crypto world, is like a rebel punk suddenly wanting to join the PTA. A spokesperson said, “We’re thinking about it, but nothing’s official yet,” aka the classic non-committal CEO move.
“No promises, but wouldn’t it be neat if we were the 21st biggest bank in the US?”
Other crypto players like Circle and BitGo are eyeing the same prize because apparently, crypto companies want to borrow your money the old-fashioned, boring way too. Banking licenses bring deposit insurance and Federal Reserve protection — basically, making your digital stash look less like a rebellious teenage bank account and more like a respectable one. But beware: red tape and compliance bills might kill the buzz.
Trump Media & Crypto.com: The Unexpected Power Couple
Because nothing says “trustworthy investments” like a media empire linked with Crypto.com, Trump Media & Technology Group is joining forces with the crypto platform to launch some new ETFs called Truth.Fi. As the name suggests, investors will get a combo platter of digital assets and “Made in America” stocks—whatever that means in this volatile circus. Approval is pending, but hype is definitely on—because who doesn’t love an intriguing mashup of politics and crypto?
Bitcoin (BTC) Price Analysis
Bitcoin’s mood swings are officially headline-worthy. It blasted through $93,000 for the first time since March after some soothing words from Scott Bessent and a rare Trump-on-charm-offensive promising to lower those nasty tariffs (just not to zero, thank god).
“It won’t be that high. No, it won’t be anywhere near that high. It will come down substantially, but it won’t be zero.” (Seriously, can someone teach politicians diplomacy?)
The market reacted like it just drank a double espresso, with BTC jumping nearly 7% on Tuesday. Short traders found themselves decimated, with over half a billion in losses — ouch! Long-term holders are apparently the cool kids now, scooping up coins while the newbies panic-sell. As one analyst put it:
“Long-term holders finally got their groove back, while short-term holders are bailing faster than a bad date.”
Last week? A rollercoaster: dips, slight recoveries, some dramatic losses, then weekend buyers returning like it’s a Black Friday sale. Tuesday’s rally through the 200-day SMA and $90,000 sent Bitcoin into near-supernova territory. Next stop? $100,000, if the bulls keep their coffee cups full.
Ethereum (ETH) Price Analysis
Ethereum hasn’t just been coasting — it’s been rallying hard, bouncing back from a $1,550 support level. It’s eyeing $2,000, but you know how markets love to tease. ETH dropped a bit here and there, played a game of musical chairs around $1,600, and then suddenly went on an 11% sprint to $1,757. The crypto gods seem happy for now, but ETH’s clothes are still hanging on a bearish wardrobe rack. Will it shrug off the past months’ gloom? Time will tell.
Solana (SOL) Price Analysis
Solana’s back from its weekend dip below $100 like a sun-bronzed comeback kid, crossing $150 in style. It did the usual dance — a little drop here, a bounce there — but Tuesday’s near 9% jump had us saying, “Don’t stop believin’.” Now at $151, SOL’s looking pretty slick as it flaunts its 50-day SMA badge.
Dogecoin (DOGE) Price Analysis
Dogecoin, the meme king with a heart of gold (and sometimes a mind of its own), started last week in sulky mode, lost a bit of shine, but perked up later. Despite its drama, it crossed $0.18 on a bullish streak that no one saw coming — except maybe the guy who bought a dogecoin as a joke and is now pretending to understand finance. The coin’s currently chilling at $0.181, still ready to make “to the moon” jokes.
Internet Computer (ICP) Price Analysis
Internet Computer is on a slow, steady come-up after flirting with lows around $4.58. It’s playing that “I’m almost there” game, climbing gradually to over $5.16 as it tries very hard to look serious amidst the crypto frenzy. Proof that even the quietly ambitious can snag a slice of the pie (or blockchain).
Algorand (ALGO) Price Analysis
Algorand had its own little soap opera last week, leaping to $0.20, then sulking back to $0.178, before showing some resilience. After a modest rollercoaster, it’s now basking at $0.219, looking pretty fancy for a coin that most people confuse with a sci-fi term.
Bittensor (TAO) Price Analysis
Bittensor, the underdog with a name that sounds like a tech villain, stumbled early but made a serious sprint last week, crossing $300 before settling around $335. It’s been playing tug-of-war with bulls and bears, but appears to be hanging out in the win column these days. Nothing like a little chaos to keep things interesting!
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2025-04-23 16:11