Oh dear, it seems that Coinbase CEO Brian Armstrong has taken quite the tumble off the billionaire’s ladder and is now officially too poor to be on the list of the world’s 500 richest people. Talk about a career slump!
According to the illustrious Bloomberg Billionaires Index (because who doesn’t love a good ranking?), Armstrong’s net worth has nosedived like a bad stock tip-plummeting by over $10 billion from its peak of $17.7 billion just seven months ago. Ouch! It appears he’s now sitting at a humble $7.5 billion. How will he ever survive?
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And if you thought things couldn’t get worse for our pal Brian, JPMorgan Chase & Co. decided to wave their magic wand and slash their price target for Coinbase by a whopping 27%. Thanks for the kindness, guys! Now his shares are taking a ride on the rollercoaster of doom, mirroring the sector’s dramatic decline. Whee! What a thrill!
A Billionaire Wipeout
But wait, it gets better! Armstrong isn’t the only crypto mogul feeling the sting of the market downturn. Those charming twins, Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, have watched their fortunes shrink to a mere $1.9 billion each. Poor things, what’s a twin to do without their billions?
Meanwhile, Galaxy CEO Mike Novogratz has seen his wealth slide from a dazzling $10.3 billion to a more modest $6.2 billion. How utterly pedestrian! And let’s not forget Strategy founder Michael Saylor, who has lost about two-thirds of his wealth since July 2025. He’s now down to a meager $3.4 billion. Can someone pass him a tissue?
As for Binance founder Changpeng Zhao, he’s still hanging in there at rank 36 with a fortune of $52.2 billion. His wealth remains tightly bound to the wild world of digital assets and the valuation of his platform. I guess some people just know how to ride the crypto wave better than others!
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2026-02-11 11:08