Crypto Conquest: Robinhood’s Daring $250M Welcome into the Canadian Wilds 🍁🚀

by

Picture, if you will, a chilling wind from the Hudson swirling northwards, clutching a heavy purse: Robinhood Markets, gripped by its insatiable appetite for far-off fates, has announced the impending absorption of WonderFi Technologies—Canada’s own enfant terrible in the digital asset bazaar.

Monday dawned with the delightful news that Robinhood intends to gobble up all of WonderFi’s shares in a heartwarming, cash-laden C$250 million rendezvous. “All-cash,” meaning not a single brass Loonie left rattling on Bay Street’s icy tiles.

Let us be clear: this is not your everyday acquisition, where the mighty devour the less mighty, burp politely, and vanish into a regulatory mist. No, this is Robinhood arming itself with the whole WonderFi arsenal—Bitbuy, Coinsquare, and more, each with vaults overstuffed with C$2.1 billion in digital “assets under custody” (which is another way of saying: serious crypto loot).

“Robinhood has signed an agreement to acquire @WonderFi, a Canadian leader in crypto products.

We’re excited to partner with WonderFi to accelerate Robinhood’s mission in Canada.

More details:”

— Robinhood (@RobinhoodApp) May 13, 2025

The prosaic details: Robinhood will hand over C$0.36 per share, under the watchful gaze of British Columbia’s corporate law scribes, which miraculously is some 41% richer than WonderFi’s last stock price—because who wants a deal without a little “generosity?” For the 30-day dreamers, it’s a staggering 71% premium—enough to make even the most stoic Bay Streeter raise an eyebrow (if not both).

Will the deal close soon? That cherished Canadian tradition—shareholder gatherings, judicial tea, and regulatory handshakes—must occur first. The expected curtain call: latter half of 2025.

Johann Kerbrat, Robinhood’s crypto chieftain, declared (perhaps over borscht): “WonderFi has assembled a formidable family of brands…” etcetera, etcetera. You see, no revolution is complete without a little familial warmth.

Canada’s crypto market, for the uninitiated, is said to be pulsing with the vim of a fresh maple sap run. Robinhood, after all, has already unfurled its banner in Toronto, seducing engineers from their basements and Tim Hortons outposts to build the financial empire of tomorrow (and possibly the day after).

Having muddled the U.S. stock market in its own special way, Robinhood now dreams of building a global financial “ecosystem”—code for: more fun in more places, with more regulatory paperwork.

Dean Skurka, WonderFi’s chief, chimed in: “WonderFi and Robinhood are united in our visions of making crypto accessible…” and so forth. The unspoken message: more crypto for everyone, whether you want it or not. Pour yourself a rye and toast the coming Canadian crypto carnival. 🇨🇦🐻‍❄️

Read More

2025-05-13 15:03