Crypto Chaos: The IRS vs. Coinbase – Who Will Win? 🥊💰

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Oh, what a pickle we have here! The US government, in all its glory, has decided to give a big ol’ thumbs down to a Coinbase user named James Harper, who dared to challenge the mighty Internal Revenue Service (IRS) over his precious crypto records. Can you believe it? 😲

In a rather cheeky filing dated May 30, Solicitor General D. John Sauer, with a name that sounds like a character from a children’s book, argued that Harper has no right to hide his financial secrets from the IRS. “You shared it willingly!” they said, as if sharing your lunch with a hungry friend means you have to share your dessert too! 🍰

Now, this whole kerfuffle started back in 2016 when the IRS noticed a shocking gap between the millions of Coinbase users trading Bitcoin (BTC) and the tiny number of taxpayers who actually reported their crypto gains. It was like finding out that everyone at the candy store was eating sweets but only a few were paying for them! 🍬

So, what did the IRS do? They whipped up a “John Doe” summons, which sounds like a secret agent’s name, compelling Coinbase to spill the beans on its high-volume customers. Talk about a snoop! 🕵️‍♂️

Coinbase user sues IRS over crypto records search

Harper, who was happily trading Bitcoin like a kid in a candy store, decided to fight back! He sued, claiming the IRS was conducting an unconstitutional search of his personal records. But the lower courts, like stern teachers, disagreed, saying Coinbase’s records are business documents, not Harper’s private papers. Ouch! 📚

The government, in its wisdom, pointed to past cases like United States v. Miller, insisting that folks have no reasonable expectation of privacy when it comes to financial records held by third parties like Coinbase. It’s like leaving your diary out in the open and then being shocked when someone reads it! 📖

They even mentioned Coinbase’s own privacy policy, which warned users that their information could be shared with law enforcement. “You were warned!” they said, shaking their heads. 🙄

As of now, the Supreme Court is playing a game of wait-and-see, deciding whether to take up this case. If they say no, the First Circuit’s ruling in favor of the IRS will stand, and Harper might just have to accept his fate. 😬

Coinbase suffers major data breach

But wait, there’s more! On May 15, Coinbase revealed a data breach that sounds like something out of a spy novel. Attackers bribed customer support staff in India to access sensitive user information. Sneaky, sneaky! 🕶️

The stolen data included customer names, account balances, and transaction histories. Coinbase confirmed that about 1% of its monthly transacting users were affected. Among the unfortunate souls was venture capitalist Roelof Botha, who probably wished he had stayed in bed that day! 🛏️

And as if that wasn’t enough, Coinbase was hit with a wave of lawsuits, with at least six legal complaints filed right after the breach. Plaintiffs accused the exchange of not having enough security measures and mishandling the whole mess. Talk about a rough day at the office! 💼

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2025-05-31 10:21