Crypto Chaos: Bitcoin Blocks at $90K & Surprise Gainers That Make You Smile 😅🚀

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Oh, the thrill of watching Bitcoin twiddle its thumbs at the lofty $90,000 mark. Must be exhausting for those day traders – are they even awake, or just staring at screens and dreaming of dollar signs? 💸

Our dear old Bitcoin, after a wild rollercoaster ride through 2025 – ending in the red, mind you – has decided to play it cool at the start of 2026. Think of it as the crypto version of ‘Netflix and chill,’ but with more zeros and less romance. Despite the US-Venezuela geopolitical soap opera, BTC remains resilient above the magic $90K – probably because it’s the only thing left to do in this market, really. 🧐

BTC Honestly Just Chilling at $90.5K

It shot past $90,000 right after New Year, like a teenager trying to impress at prom, then promptly got cold feet, slipping below $89,500 – a real drama! But don’t cry for Bitcoin; it bounced back faster than we can say ‘FOMO,’ and now it’s stubbornly hanging around the $90,500 mark, like a guest who refuses to leave the party. Since Friday, it’s been a snooze fest, trading in a tiny, yawn-inducing range. Meanwhile, its market cap is doing the sideways shuffle at $1.810 trillion – because who needs excitement when you have stability? And its dominance? Just shy of 57%, because it’s the prom queen, slightly modest.

Weekly Gainers & Losers: Because Who Doesn’t Love a Good Crypto Drama?

While Bitcoin plays the role of the steady Eddie, some altcoins are out here giving us joie de vivre. RAIN and XMR are the standout kids, doubling down with big gains – to $0.009 and $493 respectively. POL took the crown last week, skyrocketing a glorious 44% to $0.17 – talk about a glow-up! SUI and TAO also put on a show with notable gains. Meanwhile, some favorites like ZEC, CC, DOGE, MNT, UNI, and HBAR are having a double-digit pity party, plunging faster than your hopes for a weekend getaway. ⛈️

Market cap? Stuck at that sweet, unchanging $3.180 trillion – because who wants volatility when you can have consistency, right? 🥱

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2026-01-11 14:00