Cleveland-Cliffs’ 21% Surge: A Tale of Tariffs and Analysts

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a company in possession of a net loss must be in want of a stock price surge. Cleveland-Cliffs, that venerable titan of iron and existential dread, has recently experienced a 21% week-long climb, leaving market participants to ponder whether they’ve stumbled upon a miracle or merely a particularly enthusiastic group of quants with a penchant for optimism. (One might imagine the universe, in its infinite wisdom, has a habit of testing our faith in financial systems by occasionally rewarding them with unexplained gains.)

On Monday, Cleveland-Cliffs unveiled its second-quarter results, which, in a twist worthy of a particularly convoluted episode of *Doctor Who*, featured a $247 million net loss and $4.9 billion in revenue. Both figures, while worse than the previous year’s, managed to outperform the consensus of analysts—those quasi-omniscient beings who, despite their track record of predicting the stock market with the accuracy of a seismologist during a yoga retreat, still command our attention. (Imagine, if you will, a group of people who claim to know the future but have never once predicted a hurricane. And yet, we listen.)

The analysts, ever the dramatists, responded with a flurry of upgrades and price targets, as though the stock had suddenly discovered a new, uncharted dimension of value. KeyBanc’s Philip Gibbs, for instance, has now declared Cleveland-Cliffs a “buy,” a designation that, in the grand tradition of financial jargon, is about as meaningful as a compass in a room full of mirrors. His $14 target, 22% above the current price, is a number so arbitrarily chosen it could just as easily have been $13.99 or $14.01, depending on the whim of a particularly zealous spreadsheet. (One might wonder if the stock’s trajectory is guided by the same forces that determine the placement of a single sock in a washing machine.)

J.P. Morgan and Morgan Stanley, ever the twin pillars of financial wisdom, also raised their price targets, though their recommendations remained as neutral as a teacup in a storm. Bill Peterson of J.P. Morgan, in a display of uncharacteristic enthusiasm, hiked his target by over 30%, while Carlos De Alba of Morgan Stanley, in a move that defies all logic, increased his by 31.25%. (It is possible these numbers were chosen for their mathematical elegance, or perhaps they represent the number of times the analysts have accidentally clicked “buy” on a stock they meant to “hold.”)

Cleveland-Cliffs’ rise has also been accompanied by murmurs about tariffs, those enigmatic forces of global commerce that seem to materialize like ghosts in the machine of economic policy. The Trump administration’s approach to tariffs—negotiating them down with the subtlety of a diplomat who’s just discovered the concept of “winning”—has left many to speculate that the steel industry’s fate may be less dire than previously believed. (One could argue that the entire concept of tariffs is a cosmic joke, designed to test our ability to find meaning in chaos.)

In the end, the 21% surge is a reminder that the market, like the universe, is a place of both wonder and absurdity. Whether this is a sustainable trend or a fleeting fluke remains to be seen, but one thing is certain: the stock market will continue to defy logic, just as it always has. (And if you’re wondering why Cleveland-Cliffs is still in business, the answer is likely buried in a 10-K filing somewhere, waiting to be discovered by the brave or the foolish.)

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2025-07-26 03:04

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