Chipotle & The Appetite Void: Seriously?

Okay, Chipotle. Chipotle! Down 32% in a year. Thirty-two percent! It’s not like they’re selling, I don’t know, buggy whips. It’s burritos. And now they think they have a solution? A solution! Like it’s some kind of simple equation. They guided for flat same-store sales growth. Flat! That’s…that’s just admitting defeat with extra cilantro.

So, what’s the brilliant plan? High-protein bowls. Eighty-one grams of protein. Who needs eighty-one grams of protein in a single bowl? It’s excessive. It’s…it’s a statement. And an Adobe Chicken Taco for $3.50. $3.50! It’s like they’re trying to undercut themselves. And the whole thing is predicated on…on people taking drugs. Weight loss drugs. GLP-1s. It’s…it’s a bizarre strategy. A truly bizarre strategy.

Apparently, a significant number of people are now on these drugs, and they don’t want to eat as much. Fine. Okay. But the answer is…more protein? It feels…circular. Like they’re solving a problem by creating another, slightly different problem. And then they’re acting surprised when people aren’t exactly rushing in to buy extra protein. It’s just…predictable.

Trying to Appease the Appetite-Suppressed

The CEO, Scott Boatwright – and honestly, the name just feels…imposing – is talking about “approachable price points” and “meaningful ways” into the brand. Meaningful? It’s a burrito! It’s not a spiritual experience. And this whole thing about catering to GLP-1 users…it’s just…pandering. Pure, unadulterated pandering. They’re basically saying, “We acknowledge your medical condition, and we’re here to enable your diminished appetite!”

And the assumption that high-income earners are the ones taking these drugs…it’s just…lazy analysis. It’s like they’re saying, “Rich people like burritos, rich people take drugs, therefore…” It’s a leap. A significant leap. Plus, what about everyone else? Are they just supposed to ignore the high-protein options? Are they being punished for having a normal appetite?

Look, from a portfolio perspective, the stock isn’t exactly screaming “buy.” Thirty-four times forward earnings? That’s…ambitious. It’s expecting a lot. A lot of high-protein bowls. And while catering to a potentially shrinking segment of the population might seem clever, it feels…desperate. It’s a short-term fix, if anything. A band-aid on a gaping wound.

There’s broader economic stuff going on, of course. Consumer spending is down across the board. But Chipotle seems to be making it worse, actively acknowledging and then catering to a decline in appetite. It’s just…counterintuitive. It’s like a restaurant opening a special menu for people who hate food.

I’m not saying it’s a terrible company. But I’m saying, before you rush in, consider the absurdity of the situation. A burrito chain, banking on the success of appetite-suppressant drugs. It’s…it’s a lot. And frankly, it’s just…annoying. I need a bowl of something. Something simple. Something that doesn’t require a pharmaceutical intervention.

2026-02-09 20:33

Trying to Appease the Appetite-Suppressed

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