Chime’s Little Tune: Still Not Profitable, Folks

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So, Chime Financial (CHYM +12.88%) had a good day. A really good day. The stock jumped almost 14%, and you know what that means? People are still throwing money at fintech companies hoping for a miracle. It’s like watching someone bet on a horse with three legs, but hey, who am I to judge? The fourth quarter results? Let’s just say they weren’t terrible. Mostly because expectations were so low, a slightly leaky faucet would have been considered a triumph. Revenue came in at $596 million, up 25% year-over-year. That’s…progress? It’s like being less likely to be audited by the IRS – not exactly a reason to throw a parade, but it’s a start.

Sweet Music… or Just Noise?

Payments were up 17% to $396 million. Solid. Platform-related activity? A whopping 47% increase to $200 million. Which, translated from corporate-speak, means they’re finding new and creative ways to extract fees. It’s a beautiful system, really. Like a Rube Goldberg machine designed to separate fools from their money. And the net loss? Oh, it doubled. To $45 million. That’s right, they’re losing more money faster. But don’t worry, the analysts were expecting worse. Bless their hearts. They’re paid to look at the glass half-empty, then write a poem about it.

Apparently, this whole thing is fueled by the “Chime Card.” They say over half of new members are using it and spending 70% of their money on it. 70%! It’s like they’ve discovered the secret to Pavlovian conditioning. Ring the Chime Card bell, and the money flows. It earns “materially higher take rates,” which is corporate for “we’re gouging them.” But hey, it’s a free country, and people are free to be…optimistic.

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Double-Digit Growth… Eventually?

For 2026, they’re projecting revenue of $627 to $637 million – at least 21% growth. Adjusted EBITDA of $380 to $400 million. No net income forecast, naturally. Why bother with actual profit when you can have “adjusted EBITDA”? It’s the financial equivalent of wearing socks with sandals – technically functional, but deeply unsettling.

It’s not easy to carve out a niche in this crowded financial industry, filled with companies offering everything from crypto-backed mortgages to pet insurance. But Chime seems to be doing it, by targeting the underserved. Which is a nice way of saying “people mainstream banks don’t want.” They’re like the financial equivalent of a late-night diner – not fancy, but reliable. And, let’s be honest, sometimes you just need a greasy burger. This growth stock is…well, it’s a stock. And in this market, that’s saying something. Don’t expect a yacht anytime soon, but you might be able to afford a slightly nicer pair of socks.

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2026-02-27 03:22