Now, they’re in the real estate business. Which, let’s be honest, is already a bit of a comedy. People paying a fortune for…boxes. But with better plumbing. And the Federal Reserve, bless their hearts, started hacking away at interest rates. Six times! A little optimism, they say. A little. It’s like offering a Band-Aid to a guy who’s fallen off a cliff. But hey, a gesture is a gesture, right?
The QQQ has done well. Very well. A five hundred and fifty-eight percent return in ten years (as of January twenty-second). A grand invested in January of sixteen would be six thousand, five hundred and eighty today. Twenty point eight percent a year. Hard to argue with numbers like that.
A distribution yield of 7.4% is offered, a figure that, in this age of near-zero returns, demands attention. But it is not merely the number itself that intrigues; it is the relative security with which it is presented. One suspects a degree of skepticism is healthy, of course. The world is rarely as straightforward as a quarterly report suggests. Still, to dismiss this entity outright would be to succumb to the prevailing impatience, the desire for instant gratification that plagues so many investors.
Now, it’s down 11% from its peak. A momentary wobble, naturally. The usual suspects are wringing their hands, questioning if the upward trajectory is… waning. Others, bless their optimistic souls, see a ‘buying opportunity’. As if the market were a particularly predictable game of bridge. One suspects both are equally prone to disappointment.
Quantum computing, one is informed, offers the possibility of resolving problems beyond the capacity of even the most advanced calculating engines currently at our disposal. A most intriguing prospect, to be sure. Rigetti Computing, a company dedicated solely to this pursuit, thus presents itself as a potential beneficiary of this technological advancement. But is an investment in its shares a prudent course, or merely a gamble upon a distant and uncertain future?
So, let’s do some math, shall we? On April 8th, 2025, the Nasdaq was chilling at 15,268. If history repeats itself – and let’s be honest, it rarely does, but let’s pretend it does for dramatic effect – we’re looking at a glorious 30,231 by April 8th, 2027. A number so big, it requires its own zip code. Now, past performance isn’t a guarantee, of course. That’s what lawyers are for. But two stocks, my friends, two stocks are poised to take advantage of this madness: Meta Platforms and Robinhood Markets. Don’t tell anyone I told you.
Investors, bless their optimistic hearts, have been rather excited by all sorts of shiny new things: artificial intelligence (which sounds like something from a science fiction comic), quantum computing (even more baffling), the hope of cheaper borrowing, companies buying back their own shares (a bit like a dog chasing its tail), and a surprisingly resilient American economy. It’s all a bit much, really.
The stock, predictably, has wobbled a bit. Down roughly 10% from its recent high. Which, in the grand scheme of cosmic events, is less than the margin of error when calculating the probability of a slightly used toaster spontaneously achieving sentience. But it is enough to provoke the usual chorus of panicked pronouncements. Is this a buying opportunity? Well, that depends. Are you, in fact, a buyer? (A surprisingly difficult question, when you think about it. What does it even mean to ‘buy’ something? Is it merely the exchange of symbolic tokens? Or a deeper existential commitment?)
But such ascents rarely continue unburdened. One cannot help but wonder if this momentum is merely a fleeting illusion, a shimmering mirage in the vast desert of the market. The valuation, while diminished from its recent peaks, remains… ambitious. Let us, then, adopt a longer view, and consider whether Palantir warrants a place within a portfolio, or if it is best observed from a distance, a fascinating, yet ultimately precarious, spectacle.
They call themselves “The Monthly Dividend Company®.” Trademarked, naturally. The sheer audacity. But here’s the thing: they’ve earned it. Six hundred and sixty-seven consecutive monthly dividends. Let that sink in. While the rest of Wall Street is engaged in quarterly kabuki theater, these guys are just…grinding. Steady. Relentless. They’re the cockroaches of the retail apocalypse, thriving in the rubble. Grocery stores, drug stores, convenience stores – the places people have to go, even when the world is falling apart. They’re not selling dreams; they’re selling necessities. And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing. They’ve even started dabbling in gaming and data centers – a desperate attempt to stay ahead of the curve, perhaps, but a smart one. They’re evolving, adapting, refusing to become relics of a bygone era. The fact that they’ve boosted their payout 133 times since 1994? It’s not just impressive; it’s borderline unhinged. It suggests a level of discipline, a ruthless commitment to returning capital to shareholders, that’s frankly unsettling in this age of corporate excess.