Two AI Stocks That Could Make You a Millionaire (Or, at Least, Amuse You)

But fear not, dear reader, for I bring tidings of great joy (and possibly profit)! There are two smaller players in this grand opera of ones and zeros that could make you feel like Scrooge McDuck swimming in gold coins-or at least give you something fun to talk about at cocktail parties. Enter SoundHound AI (SOUN) and AppLovin (APP). These aren’t just stocks; they’re speculative bets wrapped in shiny futuristic paper with a bow made of code. Let’s dive in, shall we?

AT&T’s Dazzling $23 Billion Gamble: A Tale of Spectrum and Strategy

Now, financing such a colossal sum is no trifling matter. AT&T intends to dip into its coffers-a bit of cash on hand here, a smidge of additional borrowing there-and while this will temporarily inflate its net-debt-to-adjusted EBITDA ratio (a phrase which always sounds like something Jeeves would mutter under his breath after too much sherry), the company assures us it will return to its target level within three years. And fret not, dear reader, for AT&T’s capital return plans remain intact, including a dashing $20 billion earmarked for share repurchases through 2027. One imagines the boardroom clinking glasses over that particular decision, perhaps raising a toast to fiscal responsibility-or at least, to whatever passes for it these days.

The Producers: Why This AI Stock Will Rob the Nasdaq Blind

Now, before you ask, “Why chips?” let me remind you: every AI revolution needs a revolution in microchips. TSMC isn’t just making wafers-it’s crafting the Rosetta Stone of the digital age. And unlike your cousin’s crypto “investment,” this one actually involves real things you can’t mine with a graphics card.

Trump’s Chip Gambit: Intel’s Makeover or a Politicized Play?

But let’s not forget the Nvidia subplot. The administration’s revenue-sharing deal with the graphics giant has already raised eyebrows. Now, with Intel in the mix, we’re witnessing a political Ponzi scheme where the government’s role blurs like a half-baked chip fabrication process. Investors, prepare your smelling salts.

Nvidia’s Earnings Day: A Tale of Gross Margins and Gentle Chaos

And yet, amidst this grand parade of technological marvels, one company finds itself perched atop the pedestal like an overfed canary at a bird show: Nvidia (NVDA). With its graphics processing units (GPUs) acting as the “brains” behind AI-accelerated data centers, Nvidia has added a cool $4 trillion in market value since the end of 2022. Not bad for a firm whose name sounds suspiciously like it could belong to a Scandinavian furniture brand.

Warren Buffett’s Index Fund: A Timeless Portfolio Strategy

In his 2016 missive to shareholders, Buffett penned a verse in the ledger of financial wisdom: “My regular recommendation has been a low-cost S&P 500 index fund.” A recommendation so unassuming it might be dismissed as a truism, yet one that has transformed $500 monthly deposits into a staggering $986,900 over three decades. A feat that would make even the most ardent activist investor pause to admire the quiet efficiency of the beast.

Monthly Dividend Stocks: A Satire on Passive Income Pursuits

Realty Income, that most earnest of real estate barons, has dubbed itself “The Monthly Dividend Stock,” a title that suggests either unwavering confidence or a desperate need for self-mythology. Since 1969, it has declared 662 dividends, a feat that would impress even the most jaded Victorian railway tycoon. Its current yield of 5.5% is a modest bribe compared to the S&P 500’s 1.2%, but one must admire the audacity of a company that leases properties to global giants and calls it prudent management.

The Spectacular Descent of AI’s Titans: A Tale of Hubris and Algorithms

Behold, then, two juggernauts of the AI epoch: Palantir Technologies, purveyor of data-mined truths, and Tesla, architect of electric dreams. These are no mere companies; they are cathedrals built atop the shifting sands of investor enthusiasm. Yet even cathedrals can crumble when their foundations are made of hubris and overvaluation. Let us peer closer, shall we?

Three Midstream Marvels for the Discerning Investor

Energy Transfer (ET), that old riverboat captain of pipelines, has cleaned up its ledger and polished its paddlewheel. It’s now churning out a $5.3 billion pipeline to ferry 1.5 Bcf/d of natural gas from the Permian Basin to Arizona and New Mexico-a venture as ambitious as it is necessary, given the thirst of data centers and power plants.