Five years hence, this enterprise has yielded a return of 174%, a triumph over the mundane 82% offered by the S&P 500. Yet, such victories breed a peculiar complacency, a dangerous illusion of invincibility. The current predicament forces a reckoning. Is the market, in its infinite wisdom (or perhaps, its inherent irrationality), signaling a fundamental flaw? Or is it, as so often happens, simply overreacting to the ephemeral anxieties of the day?
Investors, those perpetually hopeful participants in this elaborate game, seek to mitigate their exposure, to construct portfolios that resemble, if not fortresses, then at least marginally less vulnerable positions. The pursuit of stability, however, is often a paradox, a search for a fixed point in a relentlessly fluid environment. The following instruments, while not guarantees against the inevitable, represent attempts to navigate the prevailing turbulence, to offer a semblance of order in the face of mounting uncertainty.
Twenty percent of the world’s energy goes through the Strait of Hormuz. Twenty percent! That’s a lot of tankers, a lot of potential problems, and a lot of people making decisions I wouldn’t trust to pick out a decent bagel. If that closes, Asia’s going to be scrambling, and Europe…Europe is going to be really scrambling. They’ll start bidding up prices, and then suddenly everyone’s paying more. It’s basic economics. It’s infuriating that this is even a discussion. And Norway? Norway is just sitting there, smugly pumping out natural gas. Equinor, specifically. They’re the biggest supplier to Europe. It’s not that I like Norway, it’s just…they’re positioned well. Thanks, Russia. You’ve created a whole new set of problems. And now I have to analyze energy stocks. It’s a cascade of annoyance, I tell you.
They call it the next revolution. Quantum computing. Like AI, but… weirder. Bits and bytes? Child’s play. This is about qubits. Tiny, ephemeral things that exist in multiple states at once. It’s enough to make your head spin. The idea is speed. Raw, unadulterated processing power that will render today’s supercomputers obsolete. A beautiful, terrifying thought. Rigetti, these guys are building the hardware. They’ve got a 108-qubit system coming online, supposedly. 99% accuracy on two-qubit gates. Sounds impressive, right? But what does it mean? It means they’re chasing a ghost. Trying to harness the fundamental laws of the universe for profit. The ultimate hustle. The goal? Ubiquity. Quantum computers in every home, every office, every goddamn pocket. A pipedream, maybe. But they’re spending millions to make it happen.
Note: Transaction value is based on the SEC Form 4 reported price ($91.50). Post-transaction value is calculated using the market close price on March 11, 2026 ($90.92). These figures, while precise, tell us little about the underlying health of the institution.
The math, according to the SEC filing, is based on a weighted average purchase price of $21.71. So, he didn’t exactly get robbed, but it wasn’t a fire sale either. And yes, that $4.92 million is still a perfectly respectable pile of money, even after a tax hit. It’s enough to make you question your life choices, honestly.
The numbers, as they are, tell a story. A rather boisterous, occasionally alarming, story. Observe:
I’ve been tracking payouts for a long time. Seen empires built on them, and just as many crumble. Here are three names that have held steady, even when the world felt like it was spinning off its axis. They’re not glamorous, but they pay. And in this business, that’s all that matters.
The question, of course, is: is it too late? Have I missed the boat? Is this the point where sensible people sell and I’m left holding the digital equivalent of a very expensive, slightly tarnished paperweight? Some people are already saying yes. That it’s all over. They’re probably very calm, well-adjusted people. I envy them. I really do.
Of course, one must remember the cyclical nature of these fads. Four years of breathless optimism, followed by a period of rather grim reckoning. It’s all terribly predictable, really. But with that caveat firmly in place, let’s discuss a few digital baubles that might, just might, prove diverting.