Take XRP and Dogecoin. They’re like that ex who texts you “I’ve changed” after three months. Sure, they’ve got a spot in some investor’s portfolio, but August? Oh, sweet summer child, August is going to be a dumpster fire of a rebound. And 2025? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
Revenue soared to a resounding $167.7 billion, with earnings per share of $1.68-figures that danced elegantly above Wall Street’s expectations. Alas, as often happens with these titans of commerce, the guidance for Q3 operating income was set at a modest $18 billion (midpoint), a number some analysts find wanting when compared to the $19.5 billion forecast. But for those who look beyond the quarterly vicissitudes, such underpromising may well be the canvas upon which bold, enduring strategies are painted.
Consider the current grotesque parade: artificial intelligence, that eight-legged spider spinning its web across every industry. Investors, like moths to a flame, flock to its gilded labyrinth, blind to the cobwebs of overvaluation. Yet not all are entranced. David Tepper, that grizzled bear of Appaloosa, has been selling shares of AI’s most anointed acolytes-Nvidia, AMD, TSMC-as if exorcising demons from his portfolio. Meanwhile, he piles into Broadcom, that unassuming octopus with tentacles in a dozen industries, as though it were the last remaining lighthouse in a storm of delusion.
The union-the IAM-encounters its own reflection in this silent mirror-an assembly that constructs not just aircraft but the very myth of American industrial resilience. Among their tasks lie the sacred objects of modern myth: the F-15EX fighter jet and the autonomous MQ-25 Stingray, both prophets of military power and technological recursion. The New York Times notes their history as a palimpsest, where 1996’s cessation overlays today’s standoff, suggesting that the cycle persists in the labyrinthine history of human crafts, each strike a maelstrom of history repeating itself-yet never identically.
Ah, minimal residual disease-MRD for short-a phrase so clinical it might induce drowsiness were it not for the gleam of profit lurking behind it. This is the artful practice of detecting the few cancer cells left lingering in a patient’s body after treatment, cells that are as stubborn as bureaucrats clinging to their desks. And oh, how these cells have proven lucrative! Adaptive reported $58.9 million in revenue for the quarter, a sum that grew by a robust 36% compared to the same period last year. Of this bounty, 85% flowed directly from the MRD business, which swelled by an impressive 42% year over year.
In the second act, our protagonists report revenues edging slightly upward-by a modest 12%-to nearly $490 million, as if to whisper, “See, we are not lost.” The show is divided into two charming segments: creative subscriptions, Wix’s cornerstone of digital artistry, rose by nearly 11%, to swell past $345 million-the equivalent of a modest applause from a discerning audience. The smaller act, business solutions, not to be outshone, grew by 17%, exceeding $144 million-perhaps more for show than substance, but nonetheless a sign of life.
In the second quarter, Scholar Rock stood where many young biotechs find themselves: adrift between ambition and reality. There were no revenues to speak of, only losses-losses so vast they seemed almost theatrical. The net loss for the period reached over $110 million, or $0.98 per share, a figure far grimmer than the nearly $59 million deficit from the same quarter last year. Analysts, those cautious prophets of Wall Street, had braced themselves for bad news-but not this bad. Their consensus estimate anticipated a shortfall of just $0.66 per share.
Indeed, last eve’s financial disclosures were not lacking in modest triumphs-beating expectations on the revenue front whilst merely meeting the bottom-line expectations. Though the quarter prior showed no expansion for this enterprise-merely stable, in the most polite sense-investors appear increasingly beguiled by the fresh strategies of Mr. Spencer Rascoff, whose intentions seem akin to a gentleman seeking to restore his most delicate possessions to their former luster.
(For those unfamiliar with the stock market, it’s rather like being trapped in a room where everyone else speaks fluent Esperanto while you’re armed only with a phrasebook for Klingon. You can sort of follow along but never quite grasp why certain decisions are made.)
Powell’s business is a patchwork of gears and grease-power systems for oil rigs, data centers, rail yards. The kind of work that smells like burnt coffee and overtime. Their Q3? A 1% revenue slump, a 3% quarterly nod upward. EPS? $3.96, a 4% rise, propped up by margins that tightened like a noose.