And now we come to O’Reilly Automotive (ORLY), whose shares have risen an astonishing 5,390% over the past twenty years. But do let us not get carried away by such vulgar numbers. Could this retail stalwart set you up for life should you acquire its stock today? Or is it merely another tiresome attempt to make something out of nothing?
FORGET THE SPACE X IPO-THIS IS THE REAL DEAL. Rocket Lab’s stock is a hallucination fueled by government grants, a $24 million semiconductor contract, and the delusional belief that a small rocket can outpace the behemoth of Starlink. But here’s the kicker: the U.S. government, that old moneybags, has thrown its weight behind Rocket Lab, turning it into a pet project for the next generation of space contractors. Or is it just another shiny object in a $400 billion private sector?
And yet, dear reader, as champagne corks pop and portfolios swell, there lingers the faintest whiff of ennui. What is one to do when the market behaves like an overeager debutante at her first ball? Shall we cling to our winners with the desperation of a dowager clutching her pearls? Or should we tiptoe into the bargain bin, where hidden gems languish like forgotten novels in a country house library? Rest assured, I shan’t advocate for any rash decisions; instead, let us review our holdings with the detached elegance of a seasoned hostess assessing her guest list.
Early in the week, a wave of disillusionment washed over the trading floor as the siren call of profit lured investors to cash in their recent gains. The backdrop was the Fed’s ambiguous signals about interest rates, reflecting the market’s fickle faith in a brighter dawn. Despite this significant retreat, one must not forget that Opendoor’s share price is still buoyed by a remarkable ascent of 178% in the year 2025-a rare bright spot in an otherwise tumultuous landscape.
Today marks Day 42 of my “Become a Sophisticated Investor” challenge. So far, I’ve successfully analyzed three stocks, accidentally bid on a penny stock while sleep-deprived, and developed an unhealthy obsession with SoFi’s quarterly reports. Let’s dissect this fintech darling before I succumb to panic-buying cryptocurrency again.
Analyzing P&G’s trajectory reveals critical inflection points:
Vanguard Value ETF performs no action, yet it acts. It mirrors the CRSP US Large Cap Value Index, a construct so obscure it exists primarily to be mirrored-a hall of mirrors reflecting nothing but its own procedural necessity. The index’s methodology, a composite score derived from book-to-price ratios, future earnings-to-price ratios, historical earnings-to-price ratios, dividend-to-price ratios, and sales-to-price ratios, operates with the transparency of a locked filing cabinet. These metrics, ostensibly “value” indicators, are aggregated into a score that sorts corporations into categories as if grading souls for purgatory. The resulting portfolio, weighted by market capitalization, becomes a census of the damned-or the merely unfashionable.
In the second quarter of this year, Coatue sold its stake in Super Micro Computer (SMCI), a company whose servers hum quietly in data centers around the world, powering dreams and dystopias alike. In its place, Laffont turned his gaze toward another giant, one whose ascent since its initial public offering has been nothing short of meteoric-an artificial intelligence behemoth whose stock surged over 336,000%. To understand these movements is to peer into the machinery of modern capitalism, where progress often grinds the bones of those it claims to uplift.
