Yet the question lingers: will management, like a gardener, prune its branches with a stock split? The answer, as with all things in the market’s garden, is a whisper of possibility. The company’s past splits, like the scars of a tree, were reverse splits-acts of survival rather than growth. A 1-for-100 split in 2007, a 1-for-200 in 2018. Now, at $20 a share, a forward split feels distant, like a distant summer.
The genesis of this investment is a narrative that unfolds like an intricate plot from an unwritten novel. Initially, Buffett’s dalliance with Sirius XM was conducted through the ephemeral prism of publicly traded tracking shares, a strategy devised by the illustrious John Malone, offering a slice of the media’s arcane mysteries at a discounted price. Yet, upon conversion of these shares into Sirius XM stock last year, Buffett did not simply escape the labyrinth; he chose to traverse deeper, investing profoundly in its common stock as well. In a rare paradox, while the tides of investment wisely ebbed, Berkshire Hathaway resolutely increased its position-not without the shadows of uncertainty that loom over the financial realms.
Why the bearishness, you ask? Oh, it’s not just the tax credits vanishing like a magician’s rabbit. Those $7,500 tax credits once made EVs sparkle like a knight’s armor. Now? They’re as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Eric Bradlow, an EV demand oracle at The Wharton School, sighs, “Consumers considering an EV or hybrid are more pragmatic and cost-conscious than current EV owners.” Translation: They’re calculating their budgets like a medieval scribe tallying the king’s gold. Meanwhile, Tesla’s CEO, Elon Musk, is busy dodging social media arrows and product lineups that resemble a “Twilight Zone” episode-stale, mysterious, and slightly unsettling.
The backstop, a bureaucratic mechanism of last resort, functions as an invisible scaffold for the fragile structures of corporate ambition. It is a promise, veiled in legal jargon, that ensures a buyer of last resort will step forward should the intricate machinery of finance falter. Yet, this promise is not a sanctuary but a noose, tightening with each passing year, its terms etched in the cold script of capital.
Let me break this down. Buffett, the man who once said “our favorite holding period is forever,” has somehow managed to blend his long-term value investing with a nod to the future. It’s like a 19th-century banker using a smartphone. His Berkshire Hathaway has delivered a 19.9% annual return since 1965. If I had invested $1,000 back then, I’d be sipping margaritas in a beach house by now. Instead, I’m still paying rent.
Forget what you thought you knew about UiPath. This isn’t some mere robotic process automation (RPA) firm-oh no, not anymore! What we’re witnessing now is the metamorphosis of a sluggish caterpillar into a magnificent, AI-powered butterfly. No longer will it fumble with data entry or automate the mundane. No, no-this company is now orchestrating the grand, futuristic symphony where humans, bots, and artificial intelligence all dance together in perfect harmony. And those partnerships? They’re not just icing on the cake-they’re the whole darn bakery.
The first rule of stock markets, learned the hard way (read: after buying 100 shares of a “sure thing” that turned into a deflated balloon): Price per share is a red herring unless you know how many shares exist. Imagine MercadoLibre had only 10 shares. Suddenly, $2,200/share feels like a garage sale where you can buy a company for $22,000. And this company? It’s making $2 billion a year. Yes, really. It’s like buying a lemonade stand that fills Olympic-sized pools with lemonade. But with fewer lemons and more logistics networks.
The ascent of Rocket Companies into the realm of mortgage origination was not unlike a bureaucratic machine springing to life under the most convenient of circumstances. With low interest rates and a temporary boom in mortgage refinancing, the company surged forward, reporting strong earnings, basking in the glow of seemingly inevitable success. But, like all fragile constructs built on the whims of chance, this too collapsed under the weight of the inevitable. The Federal Reserve, a faceless entity whose rules are as alien to the common man as the laws of some obscure totalitarian state, raised interest rates in response to inflation. In doing so, it strangled the demand for mortgages, and with it, Rocket’s once-unassailable earnings.
Ah, Zoetis (ZTS). It’s the unsung hero of the pet and livestock healthcare world-bringing us drugs, vaccines, and diagnostic tools for everything from your average house cat to your average farm cow. With a portfolio of 17 blockbuster drugs that rake in over $100 million annually, Zoetis is hardly a fly-by-night operation. Still, the stock has seen better days. Since late 2021, its share price has plummeted 40%, thanks largely to a sudden drop in pet adoptions (and yes, we’re blaming the pandemic again).
Honeywell, a name etched into the annals of industry, now stands at a crossroads. The company, long a titan of automation and aerospace, is splitting into three, a decision that reads like a quiet resignation from the burden of monolithic scale. Its 5% dividend raise to $1.19 per share is a gesture of continuity, yet it cannot mask the shadow of division. The market, ever a mirror of human folly and hope, has priced this uncertainty into the shares.