The quarterly missive from the Washington-based sorcerer’s apprentices arrived on September 25th, bearing tidings of $86.2 billion in revenue – a modest 8% incantation over last year’s numbers. Comparable sales rose 6.4%, a figure that would make lesser retailers weep into their inventory spreadsheets. Yet here, in the shadow of the bulk warehouse colossi, even strong numbers feel like parlor tricks.
Let’s address the elephant in the room: Wolfspeed’s balance sheet resembles my aunt’s holiday cookie jar-empty, with a faint smell of desperation. $758 million in revenue last fiscal year? That’s less than my gym membership costs. And profits? They’re as mythical as the free toaster promised at the bottom of a spam email. In June, they filed for Chapter 11, which I assume is a fancy way of saying “we’re rebooting the Netflix series where we’re the tragic startup.”
But this year? Not so much. Lululemon’s stock has taken a nosedive, down 65% from its peak in late 2023. So, what’s going on? Weak consumer spending, competition from bargain brands, a rise in baggy sweatpants (because, why not?), and management’s own slip-ups. They’ve admitted it: their styles weren’t keeping pace with the ever-demanding lounge-and-social fashion scene. Ouch. Also, they sold out of hot styles too quickly. Classic fashion faux pas.
Before Lucid went public, its co-founder and then-CEO, Peter Rawlinson, took a verbal jab at Tesla. He basically said, “Tesla’s the only car company that experiences *production hell*. The rest of us? We’re just sailing along, sipping lattes and manufacturing perfection. What’s that? A new car every year? *Easy-peasy*.”
Berkshire owns 17% of American Express (AXP) – their second-largest holding. Why? Because Buffett treats AmEx like a country club membership: exclusive, slightly overpriced, and impossible to leave. Visa (V) and Mastercard (MA) get mere crumbs by comparison. The Oracle of Omaha’s loyalty? A masterclass in passive-aggressive investing. He’s saying, “This is the only credit card I’ll accept for dinner reservations.”
In a world where growth stocks reign like dragons hoarding treasure, we shall explore why this financial sorcerer’s stone continues to sparkle, and why it might still be worth adding to your portfolio even at its current lofty valuation.
This cloud computing outfit has had its bumps and bruises along the trail, but the early folks who believed in it are sittin’ pretty. AI is hotter than a summer in the Mississippi Delta, and CoreWeave’s pitchfork is planted firmly in that soil. Analysts reckon the AI market will balloon past $2 trillion in the coming years-enough to make even the most timid investor’s eyes water.
Tesla (TSLA) and Lucid Group (LCID) have raised their hands to the heavens, planting seeds in the fertile myth of autonomy. Rivian Automotive (RIVN), meanwhile, tends its own patch of ground, planting practical models in the soil of affordability. The question lingers, like a drought, in the minds of those who trade in paper gold: which of these three will reap the harvest?
The culprit? A speech by the Archchancellor of the Guild of Alchemists and Venture Capitalists, Jerome Powell, who opined that “equity prices are fairly highly valued” by many measures. Though Dogecoin is not an equity-being more akin to a magical rubber chicken than a corporate share-its fate is entwined with the broader financial cosmos. After all, if the stock market’s towers are deemed too lofty, the crypto realm’s sandcastles may well be swept away by the tide of caution.
Moving packages? It’s not just hard-it’s a logistical war crime. Even Amazon, that digital colossus with more data centers than God has sins, still whimpers and begs UPS to do the heavy lifting. Wall Street, meanwhile, swings between manic euphoria and paranoiac despair, which is why UPS is now a “turnaround stock.” Because why not? Let’s all dance on the edge of a fiscal cliff!