The Great Five9 Fiasco and Scalar’s Greedy Exit

In a letter to the SEC (a document one might imagine written with a quill dipped in lemon juice), Scalar Gauge revealed it had sold every last crumb of its 399,717 shares in Five9 during the third quarter. The total value? A tidy sum calculated with the precision of a clockwork spider: $10.6 million, using the average price as a polite excuse to avoid specifics.

Technology ETFs: A Dance Between Stability and Volatility

Let’s talk numbers, because what else really matters in this world, right? The Technology Select Sector SPDR Fund is, to be blunt, your old faithful friend. It’s got a low expense ratio of 0.08%, a track record stretching back nearly 30 years, and, yes, a collection of tech stocks like Nvidia and Apple, which seem to have been around since the dawn of time. But this isn’t a place for exciting new ventures. This fund tracks the S&P 500 tech sector, and with it, the stability of a phone number you’ve had for decades.

The Fund’s 2031 Bet: A Tale of Ambition

The fund, newly minted in the portfolio of Carmel, accounted for 1.9% of its $237.2 million in assets. A modest fraction, yet one that carried the weight of a decision made in the quiet hours of a market that rarely whispers its truths.

Gap’s Stake: A Witty Investment Move?

Their holdings now constitute 1.88% of Monte’s 13F AUM, a figure that would make even the most jaded investor raise an eyebrow. Yet, as the adage goes, “The more things change, the more they remain the same.” Their top holdings-WFC, RTX, HSY, HD, and ABT-paint a picture of a fund as eclectic as a well-stocked library, though one wonders if the volumes are still in print.

Mat Ishbia’s $6.9M Exit: A Dance of Capital and Destiny

Consider the ledger:

  • Shares Sold: 1,192,712 (enough to buy a small principality in the Principality of Sealand)
  • Post-Transaction Holdings: 1,818,036 indirect shares (a kingdom once larger, now diminished) and 279,989 direct (a king’s ransom, yet a pittance for a man who once held 7 million)

The weighted average price-$5.76-suggests no desperation, merely the steady hand of a chessmaster moving pieces across a board where pawns become queens and queens become ghosts.

The Curious Case of ADMA and the Disappearing Shares

According to a document filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission (a body whose primary purpose seems to be ensuring that paperwork remains the universe’s most enduring constant), Palisades had, during the third quarter, divested itself entirely of ADMA Biologics. This involved the sale of 398,647 shares, a number that sounds precise until you realize it’s roughly the population of a small island nation. The fund now holds precisely zero ADMA shares, a state of affairs as absolute as the heat death of the universe.