According to a report that seems to have been written with an improbability drive set to “stunned,” Aptos’ total value locked (TVL) soared by a mind-blowing 109% in USD terms and a completely absurd 562% in APT terms compared to yesteryear. It’s as if the cosmos decided to cheer on a token price drop by rewarding sheer, unadulterated madness. Who knew that lowering a token’s price by 47% could be so… cosmically productive? 🤷♂️
According to Reuters, JPMorgan decided to up the planetary recession odds from a “friendly” 40% to a more “exciting” 60%. Why? Because the U.S. is rolling out new trade policies, slapping tariffs on China and the European Union, and basically rattling swords like it’s the Middle Ages. 🎉
Bitcoin’s been doing the tango above the $80K support level, teetering like a clown on a tightrope. This zone is a hotbed of excitement, where Fibonacci retracement levels and ascending channels meet to party. But oh no! If the bears show up and push BTC down, it’s like a comedy skit gone wrong – expect a stampede of long positions running for the hills!
In the final two episodes of the season, airing on May 14th, Gorham will take on the role of Scott, a character who becomes Mandy’s (Emily Osment) new boss. Due to their intricate romantic past, unforeseen hurdles arise in their relationship.
Announced on the fateful day of April 3 by none other than President Sadyr Zhaparov, this partnership is not merely a handshake; it is a grand vision! A vision that seeks to elevate Kyrgyzstan’s technological prowess, enhance the security of digital assets, and cultivate a new generation of specialists in the arcane arts of blockchain, cybersecurity, and virtual asset management. Who knew that the future of a nation could hinge on the whims of a crypto mogul?
President Zhaparov posted this significant news through his X (former Twitter) official profile. Through this agreement, the Kyrgyz Government, along with CZ, seeks to boost their collaboration for developing cryptocurrency and blockchain technology systems in the nation.
As whispers of tariffs circulate like an overhyped gossip column, our gallant Sonic (S) did just yesterday on April 4 declare, “Fear not!” 🌪️ With a flourish, it danced up to a daily high of $0.514, a glorious 11% climb within a single sunlit day! Oh, if only all were so industrious amidst gloom! 🌞
As noted in a particularly riveting post on X (that is, formerly known as Twitter—a most fitting representation of our times, I daresay), Onchain Lens, those intrepid digital sleuths, reported that an astonishing 425,266 SOL—valued at approximately $49.78 million—was unstaked. This grand unlocking event is the largest until 2028, a date that seems positively eons away in the crypto realm where fortunes are made and lost in the blink of an eye. Not content with merely watching the funds float about, those wily investors swiftly dispatched 284,147 SOL to illustrious exchanges such as Coinbase, Kraken, and Binance, fuelling speculation of impending profit-taking (or perhaps a grand day at the races?) 🤔.
The filing, dated April 3 and submitted by Coinbase Derivatives LLC, is a self-certification under Rule 40.2(a). It proposes a cash-settled monthly contract set to launch on April 21, assuming the regulatory gods smile upon it. Each contract, trading under the symbol XRL, will represent 10,000 XRP, which is roughly $20,000 at current market prices—assuming XRP doesn’t decide to take a nosedive, as it often does. 📉
The bearish sentiment is so thick you could cut it with a knife, and the price? Well, it’s now slinking below $1,800, a key support that’s transformed into a snarling resistance. Buyers, cowering in fear, may scurry to the safety of $1,600.