Forecast

They claim Stellar (XLM), bless its heart, has been flexin’ its muscles both in decentralized finance and fancy-pants technical charts. Come Friday, April 11, folks whispered that stablecoin numbers soared past $300 million, hittin’ a record $3.6 million (though I’d wager them mathematicians had a mighty long day after that). Meanwhile, active addresses multiplied more times than rabbits at a county fair, jumpin’ to 1.5 million by some contraption called Nansen. 📈

The unfortunate drift commenced in March when sUSD, in a fit of bewilderment, briefly fell below its ideal dollar mark. This predicament has only intensified following the recent enactment of SIP-420—a governance proposal that, one might say, was intended to enhance capital efficiency and render the user experience as palatable as a fine tea. However, as the saying goes, it is always the best intentions that lead to the most curious of outcomes. According to research from the illustrious Parsec, SIP-420 has unwittingly conjured a considerable increase in the sUSD supply, thus precipitating our current crisis of stability.

In a most recent communication upon that curious Warpcast platform, our dear Mr. Buterin responded to the apprehensions circulating within the Ethereum (ETH) society over the protocol’s latest flourish, EIP-7702. Indeed, an observer brought forth a certain statement from X user @nftchance, who dauntlessly labeled EIP-7702 “non-viable,” proving there is no shortage of candor in these modern times. 😏

Sources, namely the inimitable Coinpost, report that the Financial Services Agency is on a public promenade, inviting opinion on a paper intriguingly titled “Verification of the state of the system related to crypto assets.” The FSA, in all its bureaucratic glory, roasts this tasty morsel of a proposal until May 10, 2025, leaving us to speculate whether there might be more tea and crumpets on the horizon. 🍵

At the hospital, Sami unexpectedly finds Belle openly expressing affection for EJ and promptly makes a witty but cutting remark. Given Sami’s tumultuous past with EJ, she isn’t pleased about Belle pursuing her former partner. From now on, Sami is likely to keep prodding at Belle, attempting to provoke her as much as possible. How long will Belle tolerate Sami’s antics before reacting defensively?

Let me paint you a picture: Somewhere in a glass-walled office, a group of serious-looking people in expensive suits sat around a mahogany table and said, “You know what the financial world needs? More memes.” 😂 And thus, the 21Shares Dogecoin ETF was born, tracking something called the CF DOGE-Dollar US Settlement Price Index – which I’m pretty sure is just fancy-speak for “how many actual dollars you can get for your internet dog money.” 🤑

As Bitcoin (BTC) deigns to consolidate—a rather pedestrian activity for such a revolutionary asset—it is, we are told, essential to observe the technical levels. These mystical runes will apparently determine the market’s direction in the coming weeks. By comprehending the confluence of levels around $65,000, we can, allegedly, “position ourselves” for trades of “higher probability.” Naturally, all this comes with a “solid risk management framework.” As if mere mortals could truly manage risk in this casino. 🙄

With key support levels now under more pressure than a procrastinator on deadline day, the market is at a crossroads. Ethereum (ETH) has slipped back into its 2022 trading range, a zone that historically led to a long period of sideways movement. Traders, grab your popcorn and pay close attention to key support and resistance levels—they’re about to dictate the next macro move. 🎢

This company specializes in offering Whole Life Insurance that is neatly wrapped in the shiniest blanket you could possibly imagine—Bitcoin (BTC). So when they say “whole life,” they mean you can now plan your fiscal future while also betting on the latest cryptocurrency meme. What a time to be alive!

Our dashing crypto exchange, Binance, alongside the splendid MetaMask—currently in the jolly hands of the Consensys folk—are hopping on the Payment ID bandwagon. This zkEmail solution from the digital identity savants over at SPACE ID promises to make crypto transfers smoother than a well-aged Scotch. 🥃