Cryptonews

Imagine, if you will, a parade of these shiny new trust banks-“First National Digital Currency Bank” and “Ripple National Trust Bank”-like fresh recruits vying for applause in a society obsessed with shiny new toys. In the wings, three veterans-BitGo Bank & Trust, Fidelity Digital Assets, Paxos-are getting their last-minute pep talks, awaiting the OCC’s final nod, after proving they’re not just a bunch of digital jokes. Ah, the pomp and circumstance of regulatory approval! 😂

Interactive Brokers Group Inc. has officially started allowing a subset of eligible U.S. retail clients to fund individual brokerage accounts using stablecoins. This move marks a major integration of digital assets into the world of mainstream finance. The feature is being implemented in cautious phases. Therefore, it begins with just a part of the eligible clients in the US.

A motive entangled with crypto-the most fashionable vice of our times-has been suspected in the demise of Danylo Kuzmin, son of Kharkiv’s deputy mayor. Vienna’s finest are investigating a gruesome tale wherein a very substantial amount vanished from his digital wallet post-mortem. The young man, found in a charred convertible in Vienna’s Donaustadt (autumn 2023), was the offspring of Serhii Kuzmin, a local official who surely wishes he had a digital child-proof lock. 😅

In January 2024, the US DOJ decided to bring Xue Lee, affectionately known as Sam Lee, and Brenda Chunga, who prefers to embrace ‘Bitcoin Beautee’, into the spotlight. Turns out, these characters spun a tale so unbelievable that even the most gullible might have thought it was a grocery store full of free samples. The story? They claimed that investors would be rolling in crypto riches, thanks to mining operations that apparently existed only in the realm of fantasy.

The Gist of It

Trading close to its net asset value, it appeared the market was less inclined to shower this firm with the kind of exuberant premiums typically reserved for star-crossed investments.

Recently, a bigwig from the Reserve Bank of India, Mr. T. Rabi Sankar, decided to throw a wet blanket on Bitcoin’s parade. His words stirred up more fuss than a monkey in a pipe factory.

Our favorite author of “Rich Dad Poor Dad,” Robert, took to his favorite soapbox-X (formerly Twitter)-to drop some wisdom bombs about how to endure the economic mess, with particular affection for getting your hands on assets that don’t mind crashing and burning. His advice? Think ahead, own things that generate cash, and get yourself some digital gold-yes, Bitcoin. Because what could possibly go wrong? 🤷‍♂️💻

Speaking of which, Arkham Intelligence dropped a bombshell: some ETH whale decided to go all-in with a $537 million long position at $3,175. Bold move, Cotton. But then ETH took a 4.7% nosedive on December 12th, and suddenly that whale’s position is underwater to the tune of $20.5 million. Ouch. 🦈💦