Cryptonews

Oh, how quickly fortunes can change. Just recently, Bitcoin was having a glorious time, reaching new all-time highs in both U.S. dollars and Japanese yen, buoyed by the new Japanese prime minister, Takaichi Sanae’s *charming* bias for ultra-easy Abenomics. His policy was a ray of sunshine… at least for Bitcoin, until it wasn’t. It seems that the very thing that helped Bitcoin shine is now turning the spotlight off, thanks to a most inconvenient rise in bond yields.

October 8, 2025 06:02:36 UTC

As if predestined, alternative cryptocurrencies often waltz in infantile tandem with Bitcoin, only to marvel, with a small degree of jealousy, at the magnitude of the elder’s price swings.

So, what’s behind this sudden glow-up? Let’s spill the syrup. 🍁

A signal is sent forth from the ether as early warnings of potential selling pressure flicker on the horizon. All wise men reading these omens suspect the grand silhouettes may tire of holding, preferring instead the smoother experience of taking profuse profits.

Dogecoin dropped 8% on Tuesday, because why not? Whales unloaded at $0.27 (a price now forever cursed) before pivoting back in near $0.25. A billion-token liquidation wave? Sure, why not. Late-session prints showed “smart money” stepping back, which is just code for “someone’s spreadsheet finally worked.” 📊

At the hour of this scribbling, the precious beast trades nigh on $120,988, a trifling 3.38% tumble from its diurnal zenith. And lo, a 17% eruption in trading fervor propelled $77 billion across the ether, courtesy of CoinMarketCap’s inscrutable ledger. One can only imagine the jolly good show at the exchanges, what? 📈🤡

Experts are clapping politely, but let’s be real – it’s like giving someone a diet Coke when they asked for a full-fat latte. ☕️ Sure, it’s progress, but is it enough to make the UK the crypto capital it dreams of being? Spoiler: probably not. 🤷‍♀️

Who dis? 😂

The company, with a straight face, claims this index is to satisfy the “rising investor demand” for exposure to the digital asset ecosystem. Ah, yes, the fickle investor-ever yearning for novelty, yet perpetually bewildered. In collaboration with Dinari, a tokenized securities provider, this endeavor promises a “rules-based benchmark” for the global market. Rules, of course, are what we cling to when chaos looms. 📜⚖️