According to the venerable Michael Saylor, the company’s last grand Bitcoin caper was nearly six months ago, on July 29-which, I dare say, is just long enough for folks to forget they ever owned a penny. Back then, they amassed a whopping 21,021 BTC for a hefty $2.47 billion, proving once again that the sort of fun you can have with a few billion is obviously endless. 😉
The Financial Action Task Force, that ever-watchful sentinel of financial morality, recently released a missive praising T3 FCU’s “real-time” crime-fighting prowess. One imagines suited bureaucrats cheering as digital handcuffs clinked over $300 million in crypto. How thrilling. 🎉
Under the new rules, regulated crypto exchanges are required to verify users through live selfie authentication and geographic location data during the onboarding process. Because nothing says “trust me” like a wobbling chin and a GPS pin. 🌍📸
The sellers, those dastardly fiends, continue to keep our hero’s recovery firmly tethered below a well-defined resistance range, which has now transformed into a fortress more impenetrable than a butler at a family gathering. While the recent rebound suggests that there’s a whisper of demand lurking in the shadows, the technical indicators are waving their arms like frenzied waiters at a posh dinner, indicating that we might need a bit more buying pressure, rather than a hasty leap into the unknown. 🏰
As of now, ETH is lounging around $3,140-up 1% in the past 24 hours but down a smidge over the week. Because, why not? It’s the crypto way. 📉📈
As the days drift by, attention shifts to the delicate dance of structure and momentum, pondering which layer-1 darling might burst forth from this price prison first. Why, it could be the breakout that sends us all into a frenzy of euphoric speculation! 🎉
Geopolitics, dear reader, and a thousand whispers in the market’s corridors: the price stays high, but something fragile giggles behind the curtain-the triple bearish omen that may coax BTC down to around 70,000.
In a chart shared with his 700,000 followers (probably after a 3AM espresso), Brandt circled a “breakout setup” like a hawk spotting a mouse-except the mouse is $719.43 and it’s got zero interest in not getting pounced. 🦅💸 “It’s been a chronic underperformer for years,” he admitted, “but now? It’s either about to go full dragon or collapse under the weight of its own expectations!” 🐉💣
As enigmatic portfolio holders examine the performance of their holdings from the previous year and ponder adjustments for the morrow, a familiar query rises again with the subtlety of an old ghost peering through a dusty windowpane: Ought one retract from the clutches of Bitcoin mining equities to hoard more of Bitcoin in its raw essence?
In a world where volatility is not just a term but a cruel master 🌪️💸, decentralization has become a mantra, chanted more fervently than accurately. Once, pioneers of blockchain envisioned a hymn of miners toiling in egalitarian glories; now, it’s sprawling mining empires and boardrooms of be-suited ideologues. Are DAOs the futile children of this dream, or are centralized teams just wolves in sheep’s fleece?
