And so, the total tokens burned have surpassed 410.75 trillion, a number so vast it makes one’s head spin—though, truthfully, fewer tokens mean higher value, or so they say on the street corner of crypto wisdom, courtesy of Shibburn. Maybe someday they’ll burn enough to light up the night sky! 🌠
According to the scribes of fortune at crypto.news, on that red-blooded Tuesday, July 29, the token surged past a modest $0.023 only to tumble back to its humble abode around $0.0122, leaving behind confused investors scratching their heads like they just realized their favorite sitcom’s last season was a dud.
Altcoin 1: SEI – Not Just Fast, It’s Panic Attack Fast 🚀
Apparently, the feds stormed a crypt-o-lord’s lair on April 15th, snatching up 20.2 shiny Bitcoins from some shady address linked to the Chaos hacker gang— sounds like a rock band, but no, it’s just hackers causing chaos, not the Rolling Stones. 🎸
They sold it for a measly $11 million to some company called Project Labrador Holdco, LLC. Because nothing says “serious business” like a name that sounds like a sci-fi movie. 🚀
Oh, great, another day in the wild west of DeFi 🤡. Konstantin Lomashuk, founder of Lido, decided to borrow 💸85 million USDT from Aave—because who wouldn’t want to play with other people’s money? He then sent 80 million to Amber Group, who deposited it onto a crypto exchange like it’s 2017 again 🤷♂️. Then, out … Read more
While the world watches Bitcoin [BTC] with the reverence of a Victorian audience at a pantomime, a far more intriguing drama unfolds in the Ethereum [ETH] realm—complete with clandestine coups, staked fortunes, and a dash of existential dread.
Should the enigmatic $XRP falter beneath the $3.15 sanctuary, an unsettling slide to $3 lurks—ah, the tantalizing whispers of dip-buyers everywhere! 🍿
Let’s set the stage: MARA made a big announcement, waving about the sort of money that would make your bank manager faint. In a classic tale of financial one-upmanship, they gave early buyers the option to grab an extra $200 million in what’s known as “convertible senior notes.” These are basically IOUs, but with fancier shoes and a clause to demand the last slice of pizza.
This dramatic ascent, I’m told, is all thanks to those institutional exchange-traded products and a fresh wave of treasury companies scooping up the asset like it’s the last canapé at a Coward soiree. And one of these firms, Bitmine Immersion Technologies, believes ETH is as undervalued as a witty remark at a dull dinner party. 🍾🤭
