Lo, the short-term structure improved, and the bears, those pitiful villains, found themselves outmatched! Their feeble attempts to drag prices lower were thwarted by dip buyers, who swooped in like gallant heroes, fueling the grand momentum upward.
On one hand, you’ve got the “manipulation” crowd, clutching their pearls and shouting, “It’s a trap!” On the other, you’ve got the hype train, chugging along with investors thinking, “CZ’s backing? Cha-ching!” But let’s be real, folks-this is crypto. Nothing’s certain except taxes and the fact that someone’s always yelling “HODL!”
According to local reports, the prosecutors discovered the Bitcoin had gone walkabout during a routine check of their seized assets. Imagine rummaging through your sock drawer for that spare £20 note, only to find a black hole where your life savings used to be. That’s essentially what happened here, except the sock drawer is a USB drive, and the £20 note is enough Bitcoin to buy a small island. Or a really nice yacht. Or both, if you’re feeling fancy.
Here, the duo slices through the typical “speculative asset” patina, presenting crypto as the unsung infrastructure poised to counter ever‑growing AI centralisation, offering users command over their own data, their digital selves, and their economic destiny.
Today, ETH tiptoes around $2,957 to $2,960, like a cat walking the windowsill-close enough to feel the allure of $3K but not quite brave enough to leap. A fleeting glance above that magical threshold was met with a quick retreat, as if the market was reminding us, “Hey, patience is a virtue, or so my trading bot keeps telling me.”
Experts (aka the people who claim to know things) say it’s all about the macro drama, not your personal flaws, XRP. Liquidity? Thinner than my patience at a family reunion. No XRP-specific gossip to report, just the usual global meltdown.
Crypto’s next act won’t be a straight-up shoot-out betwixt freedom and control. Says Vitalik Buterin, Ethereum’s co-founder, institutions and rebels march in steps so synced, you’d think they’re both bewitched by the same flim-flam. Both sides, it seems, snack on the same crumbs of sanity when it comes to encryption-how’s that for a punchline?
It appears the former Mr. Zhao-known to his friends (if he has any left who aren’t lawyers) as “CZ”-has been attempting to untangle a knot of speculation regarding his relationship with a former leader who has a rather…distinctive…hair arrangement. The core of the issue? A pardon. Granted. By him. The one with the hair. Naturally, this sparked the sort of frenzy normally reserved for sightings of the Lesser Spotted Marmoset riding a unicycle.