Cryptonews

On the daily chart, bitcoin is showing off its sad face — a short-term downtrend following a peak at around $123,236. Now it’s napping near the $114,000–$115,000 support zone, as if waiting for a punchline. Despite all the gloom, the seller’s enthusiasm is waning — maybe they’re just tired! If Bitcoin can brave the $118,000 resistance and fling its way above it, bullish dreams might just come true. But if it stumbles below $114,000 again, it might just cry and sell even more. Stay tuned for the next episode of “Crypto Chaos!”

In this context, closely monitoring whale behavior and capital flows in and out of major platforms will remain key to determining the market’s next moves. Because nothing says “excitement” like watching a bunch of crypto whales do the cha-cha. 🐝💃

This is a disaster waiting to happen. 🚨

Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to invest! Despite a rather dashing debut in March 2025, when Pi Coin was flirting with the dizzy heights of $0.86, it has since struggled to maintain any semblance of upward momentum. A brief flirtation with the $1 mark in late May seemed promising, but alas, it was not to be. Since June, Pi has been on a prolonged downward spiral, dipping below the psychologically important $0.50 mark, and is now attempting to stabilize near its current levels. 🌊📉

Now slumped at $0.39, this altcoin’s 14% plunge in two weeks reads like a tragic novella, its fate sealed as August looms—a month that has historically treated XLM like a toddler in a thunderstorm: screaming, crying, and ending in tears. 🌧️

Three Democratic senators—Warren, Wyden, and Van Hollen—have penned a letter to Jonathan Gould, the OCC’s steward, with the urgency of a poet decrying a flawed sonnet. They argue that the President, who pens crypto regulations, now reaps dividends from his family’s stablecoin, USD1, a venture birthed by World Liberty Financial. A conflict of interest? Or merely the American dream, reimagined with a blockchain twist?

They’ve procured, shall we say, a *significant* pile – 76 million, precisely – of these “SUI” tokens directly from the, ahem, Sui Foundation. For $3.64 a pop. A bargain, I’m sure. They assure us this is just the beginning. A grand accumulation, they proclaim. As if anyone truly understands what’s being accumulated, or *why*. And they are quite proud to be the only officially sanctioned treasury program, which feels… special, in a rather pathetic way. 🤔

Ah yes, Coinbase, the darling of crypto exchanges, released its shareholder letter for Q2 2025. It revealed a 39% nosedive in transaction revenue, while crypto spot volumes sulked with a 32% decline. Lower market volatility? Blame that pesky lack of drama—we all know how markets thrive on chaos 😏.

Yet, whispers follow. Complaints remain, like persistent drafts in a grand but poorly-maintained estate. Accounts frozen, spirits chilled. They offer ‘fixes,’ but do they truly understand the chill of exclusion? 🤔

First up, Indian exchange CoinDCX—sounds like a fancy sandwich, right?—lost $44.2 million. How? With some smooth social engineering. A hacker convinces an employee to install malware (because who needs a hacker to break in when you’ve got a free fake freelance gig?). The employee’s now on police hold, probably trying to figure out where it all went wrong. Nice job.