Now, on this fine Friday, OSL announced they’re planning to use these funds in three key areas: acquisitions, global business initiatives (like payments and stablecoin infrastructure—because who doesn’t love a good stablecoin?), and beefing up their working capital. Because, you know, who doesn’t need more money to play with? 🤑
But wait, there’s more! This figure marks a jaw-dropping 94% increase from June. Weekly trading volume skyrocketed too, hitting $136 million—a 51% jump from the previous week. Who needs tangible assets when you can trade cartoonish CryptoPunks for life-changing sums? 😎💸
Ethereum (ETH), Solana (SOL), and a veritable banquet of EVM-compatible networks. Who could resist such an invitation? ✨
One cannot help but chuckle at the irony; this bold proclamation also serves as a jovial admission that his once-certain predictions now sit in the attic of obsolescence, collecting dust. It’s as if he looked into the mirror of the market and said, “You’re not the person I used to know!”
And who’s crying? Over-leveraged traders, that’s who. 150,000 of them got liquidated. Ouch. That’s more painful than a bad Seinfeld rerun. 😬📉
Lo and behold! This hoard vaults BitMine past the Ethereum Foundation (which, let’s face it, probably forgot where it left its keys) and even Coinbase, the digital equivalent of a pawn shop. And poor SharpLink? Left in the dust with 200k fewer tokens than our hero. BitMine’s goal? To own 5% of Ethereum’s supply. Because why let the little guys have a slice of the pie when you can eat the whole bakery? 🥧➡️💸
Speaking to CryptoMoon, Graham Krizek, founder and CEO of Lightning Network payments provider Voltage, said increased adoption of the layer-2 network will see it handle 5% of the global stablecoin volume as early as 2028. 🤯
They excitedly note that the global cryptocurrency market is expanding faster than a hyperactive octopus at a dance party. Apparently, BTC, which the unimaginatively celebratory have dubbed “digital gold,” has piqued the interest of institutional investors who’ve been scratching their heads over the ever-weakening yen and the financial instability that’s sweeping the globe like a slightly unpleasant cold. 😷 Not to mention the appeal of holding digital coins that might one day be a reliable means of asset diversification—or at least a great conversation starter at parties.
The Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) has swooped in like your well-meaning but ultimately confusing aunt at Thanksgiving, putting a hold on crypto index ETF products by Bitwise and Grayscale despite earlier approvals. Thanks, SEC! 🙄
“There’s not a lot of supply of ETH, and so I think ETH probably has a chance to outperform Bitcoin in the next three to six months,” he croons to CNBC, as if reciting a sonnet to a stock ticker. 🎭
