While the market partook in a grand rally last week, with various assets achieving new heights and others scaling multi-month peaks, poor old PI remained stubbornly in its range, as if it had been glued to the floor by a mischievous butler. With interest in this particular altcoin plummeting faster than a soufflé in a thunderstorm, it shows little sign of breaking free from its confining, albeit narrow, range.
In the memorable post of July 21 on the platform known as X, Mr. Hayes expressed his whimsical desire for the price of this etheric creation to ascend to heights previously unknown by the upcoming weekend. “Pray tell, can we elevate $ETH to the illustrious $5k by Friday?” he inquired. This proclamation reached the ears of many shortly after ETH enjoyed an invigorating jaunt to an intraday zenith of $3,822, his finest resurgence since late 2024. 🏰
According to the SEC, Strategy scooped up 6,220 BTC for a cool $739.8 million. Because nothing says “I’m serious about my investments” like throwing money at a volatile asset. 💸
Ripple (XRP) jumped to $3.55, up by over 120% from its lowest point in April. Technicals? Please. The only thing “technical” here is how they’re using a spreadsheet to predict the future. 📊
Yes, dear reader, Whatsapp faces the grim specter of banishment from Russian cyberspace, accused of being a “legal breach of national security.” Imagine that—a humble messaging app as a threat to a nation’s very soul! Deputy Nemkin, who clearly moonlights as a dramatist, laments that millions of Russians entrust their precious data to a foreign company controlled by what he calls a “hostile government.” Hostile? Perhaps Meta declined to send a fruit basket to Moscow one year. Who can say?
Ethereum jumped to $3,793. $3,793! Institutions are interested? In *Ethereum*? I need to lie down. Apparently, it’s all because of “treasury products” and “ETF flows.” What does that even *mean*? It’s up 25% in a week, they say. A week! It’s preposterous. And the ETH to BTC ratio is rising? It’s starting to…outperform Bitcoin? This is a disaster. A disaster, I tell you. 😠
Where Bitcoin treads next is as certain as a prisoner’s release date in a Siberian camp. The fiscal ruins of nations and the ceaseless printing presses of central banks may yet inflate its value—though the next “black swan” (or perhaps a pink flamingo of chaos) could just as easily trample it. 🤷♂️💸
Dogecoin has not only broken above the $0.25 resistance level but has decided to stay awhile, like that one guest who won’t stop raving about the free buffet 🍴. With a 9% climb in the last 24 hours and a 34% gain over the last week, it’s clear that DOGE is the life of the party 🎉.
With the flourish befitting a grand novel, Europe’s inaugural BTC Treasury company, in the finest tradition of capitalistic endeavors, announced a successful capital increase as part of its At-The-Market, or ATM, type capital increase program in collaboration with TOBAM. Each share, valued at €3.95 (or for those counting in dollars, $4.59), conjured a sum nearing €1.1 million ($1.28 million). Ah, the sweet scent of money, n’est-ce pas? 💸
On this fine morn of July 20, our esteemed analyst ShayanMarkets—a name that sings like a choir of crypto prophets—has observed that Bitcoin reserves nestled in the warm embrace of centralized exchanges have swelled to heights we hadn’t seen since the grand spectacle of June 25. What does this signify? It suggests that our beloved investors, those crafty creatures, are engaging in an age-old tradition known as “profit-taking.” How quaint! 🐢✨
