Cryptonews

The maestros behind this digital carnival, Sats Terminal, recently graced the Bitcoin.com News Podcast with their presence. Behold, the audio spectacle:

Ah, Ethereum (ETH), the second fiddle in the cryptocurrency orchestra, began its day with a flourish at $2,738, only to trip over its own crescendo and plummet below the critical $2,700 mark. A 7% decline in 24 hours-how utterly gauche! Traders, my dear, were caught with their champagne flutes mid-air, as ETH executed one of its most dramatic nosedives in recent memory.

Once basking in the glow of a $61 million unrealized profit, our protagonist now finds itself submerged in a sea of red, with a negative $13.46 million staring back like a mocking reflection in a still pond. The irony? This is the same creature that dared to short ASTER with a 3x leverage, mere moments after the Binance übermensch’s benediction. Oh, the hubris of it all!

And Ripple [XRP]? Oh, it’s following the crowd, like that guy who always shows up late and still thinks he’s the life of the party. Popped 2.13% on the weekly chart, big deal. Still stuck in the $1.70-$1.80 band. Haven’t broken that since the 2024 election. Wow, what a floor. Dip buyers, step right up! Or don’t. Whatever.

It appears that XRP Community Day is shaping up to be a lively affair for the global digital asset enthusiasts. On January 28, 2026, Ripple released a cornucopia of insights about how this grand event will shine a spotlight on adoption, infrastructure, and the ever-expanding practical applications of the XRP Ledger across various regions-because nothing says “financial revolution” like a well-organized event!

Saylor’s response? As blunt as a whack from the BFG’s giant hand. But Lopp, ever the skeptic, sniffed around like a fox in a henhouse, wondering if those Bitcoins are truly unencumbered or if they’re being passed around like a hot potato at a rehypothecation party. Meanwhile, Strategy’s Bitcoin binge continues, gobbling up 2,932 BTC in January 2026 alone-enough to make even Willy Wonka’s bank account blush. As of Jan. 25, they’ve hoarded 712,647 BTC, a treasure trove that’d make the BFG’s ear trumpet jealous.

Reports, dashed off by those clever fellows with their noses in the data, suggest that the path to a lasting recovery is as tricky as explaining Aunt Agatha’s latest scheme. It seems improved liquidity is the name of the game, with market watchers pointing to on-chain measures as the real signal to watch. Rather like keeping an eye on Bertie Wooster’s spending habits, if you ask me.

Enter Analyst Heisenberg, the chart whisperer, who’s got a hot take hotter than a blockchain in summer. Apparently, ETH’s current shenanigans mirror its 2024 drama-a 47% nosedive, 92 days of sideways sulking, and then a 47% rally to kiss $4,000. Now, we’re in Déjà Vu City, with a 47% drop, a 33% bounce, and a consolidation siesta. Heisenberg’s crystal ball says this snooze fest could last till February 21, 2026. $4,000, you say? Let’s grab some popcorn.

Ah, Circle (CRCL), the stablecoin magician behind USDC, has received a second pat on the back from Wall Street analysts this week, and wouldn’t you know it, this time it’s from its biggest critic!

Our protagonist, Trump Jr., a co-founder of the illustrious World Liberty Financial, took to the magnificent platform known as X (formerly Twitter, for those who dwell in the past) to celebrate this momentous occasion. He declared USD1 as “built in America” and “adopted by serious institutions,” a phrase that could send any proud American into raptures of nationalistic delight. Meanwhile, his brother Eric, also a co-founder, joined in the merriment as USD1 ascended to the esteemed position of the fifth-largest stablecoin on the globe, surpassing the likes of PayPal USD and Ripple USD-those poor souls left behind in the dust.