Cryptonews

He boasted about the firm’s portfolio performance, which is currently doing a wobbly dance on the tightrope of market recovery. 🕺

The crypto community, ever optimistic, decided to wade into the new year with enough green to make even a couch potato feel morally upright. Top 100 coins danced their way into the week, with the legendary CoinMarketCap’s top 20 index strutting a confident 5% upgrade-because who doesn’t love a good glow-up?

SPX6900 [SPX], that enigmatic specter of speculation, has ascended 16% like a drunkard staggering through a cathedral, yet beneath its gilded facade lies a labyrinth of despair and deceit. 🕯️🧩

As LTC flirts with $70, everyone’s eyes are glued to this trusty trendline. If it holds, well, expect some fireworks, possibly of the monetary kind. 🎆

Leading theories: The economy suddenly improved, or people stopped falling for spam links that say “Free Shiba Inu!” cp Survivor reached peak popularity.

With the solemn gravity of a man who once tried to explain compound interest to a goat (true story, probably), he proclaimed: “To school, O youth, for job security? Ha! You might as well pray to a vending machine.” 🙃

Like a mischievous little rascal, Bitcoin decided to take a leap while the global markets were taking a long, leisurely nap. 💤 It’s like it found a secret door to the land of crypto where only it could play!

Upon a fine December morning in the year 2024, CryptoOnChain, always one to spin a delightful yarn, announced a curious shift among Ethereum’s loyalists. From a rather modest net inflow, a sum no less than £960 million found its way to Binance, an exchange of much renown. This change is all the more striking, given the precedents that saw the asset withdraw favor since July of 2025.

Behold, the exchange deposits spike! More SHIB floods onto exchanges than flees them, a dance of liquidity that tilts the market into sellers’ hands. Sellers, those grinning ghouls in tailored suits! Tokens parked on exchanges? A liquid supply, yes-but not for the faint-hearted. No, these coins are not for long-term love; they’re for hedging, selling, or collateralizing like a drunken bet. And lo! The imbalance is etched into the price action, as plain as a beggar’s pockets. 🎭📉

In a recent X post, Ethereum co-founder Vitalik Buterin announced that Ethereum is undergoing a transformation-not just in speed, but in its very soul. PeerDAS has hit the mainnet, and ZK-EVMs have reached performance levels worthy of a Broadway show, even if they’re still in rehearsal. 🎬