Cryptonews

Apparently, the master plan involves expanding their digital empire and creating what they charmingly call “the most comprehensive stablecoin payments solution” – a phrase that sounds as if it were plucked straight from a spy novel. They want folks to pay with stablecoins, both on and off the digital ramp, without the fuss of holding actual cryptos. It’s as if they’re saying, “Here, money that feels like money but isn’t necessarily.” Genius, really. 💡

What is resilience? Is it the stoic hero trudging through the Siberian steppe or a token that, despite unlocking so many coins you’d think they were giving away iPhones at a Moscow train station, keeps trudging upwards? July was a pageant-rising from $0.23 to $0.70, ENA flashed like some hopeful signal over the gulag fences. Retracement dared knock, but the token answered with the dull clang of locked iron-unyielding, unmoved.

According to the wise sages of Cosmos, a staggering 72.5% of these shiny new funds will flow directly into the temple of Ethereum, stacking their digital treasure as if they were collecting mythic relics. The remaining crumbs? Well, those go to keep the machine humming-funds for day-to-day magic and future expansion, because who wants to stand still in the crypto ballroom?

According to Bloomberg – and I’m sure they’re totally reliable – the SEC says some stablecoins could just be called “cash” now. Oh, terrific. Just what everyone wanted – more confusion, wrapped in a shiny new label. If you hold a stablecoin backed by dollars or short-term treasury bills, congratulations, you might be holding cash. Or a weird digital IOU. Whatever keeps the lawyers happy.

Meanwhile, the entire crypto market feels like a tired horse dragging its hooves, and XRP is no exception. Investors are clutching their pearls, nervously eyeing whether support levels will hold or if the whales will drown the price in a sea of red. Volatility? Check. Bearish whispers? Check. We’re now entering a decisive stage – a sort of “Will it soar or will it sink?” guessing game. Buckle up, the show’s about to get interesting, or disastrous; either way, it’s worth watching like a slow-motion car crash-morbid curiosity included. 🚗💥

This Ethereum ascendance is perceived as the dawn of the next bullish epoch, the big comeback, as investors’ eyes dart away from Bitcoin to the shiny allure of altcoins. A veritable game of musical chairs is in progress-though with fewer chairs and more speculative frenzy.

Most of these bots hang out within Telegram, that cozy messenger where you probably spend way too much time anyway, whispering secrets of the crypto universe, or shouting about your latest wins (or losses-no judgements). These digital helpers can mirror other traders, swoop in on liquidity, and even join token giveaways-all with the ferocity of a raccoon after a picnic basket. Here’s a roster of the finest bots this August, guaranteed to make your old trading habits look like trying to herd cats:

Now, don’t get too excited. They’re still in the “let’s dream big” phase. The U.K. firm has signed a non-binding letter of intent (cue the dramatic music) with 360 Energy, a company that finds natural gas and tries to make it sound sexy. Under the LOI conditions, they’re aiming to turn natural gas into electricity to power-wait for it-data centers. Because nothing says “I’m living my best life” like a gas field turned Bitcoin factory! 😂

Crypto analyst X account Crypto Rand, in an act of impeccable timing, reminded the world of this ancient oracle’s forecast-because what better way to celebrate underwhelming milestones than by sounding notably prescient? 🌍

Since January 2024 (yes, they’ve had *months* to perfect their villainy), these digital highwaymen have been peddling “crypto trading bots” like they’re selling snake oil at a carnival. Using Remix, an innocent tool meant for coding smart contracts, they trick users into deploying what is essentially a Trojan horse. Once deployed, the bot grants the scammer secret access to your wallet-because nothing screams “trustworthy” like handing over your financial keys to strangers online. 🤷‍♂️🔐