Cryptonews

On the balmy day of July 7, eager crypto enthusiasts across the vast wasteland of X (which used to be Twitter – but let’s not hop on that bandwagon today) were bandying about screenshots of a page that promised a token sale for Pump.fun’s native token, cleverly named PUMP. This delightful affair was proposed to kick off on July 12, featuring a 72-hour initial exchange offering where 150 billion tokens were priced at a mere $0.004 each. This masterstroke purported a raise of $600 million and hinted at a fully diluted valuation of $4 billion. Or, as the common folk would say, “a whole lotta cash!” 💰

What to know: Dogecoin has stabilized near $0.17 after a 4.6% decline, with strong support forming at the $0.166–$0.167 zone. Despite recent weakness, large wallet accumulation and easing macro headwinds suggest potential bullish continuation if resistance at $0.18, $0.21, and $0.36 is broken. Elon Musk’s announcement of The American Party has reignited interest in Dogecoin, … Read more

For those playing at home, this bombshell dropped right after Trump started waving his “One Big Beautiful Bill” around like a magic wand—clearly trying to overshadow Elon’s plans. But Musk, never one to shy away from a little drama (he’d eat Shakespeare for breakfast), saw Trump’s policy acrobatics and simply went, “Fine, I’ll do it myself.” The grown-ups are fighting. Pass the popcorn, please. 🍿

This isn’t your typical political story. It’s about what happens when someone with Musk’s influence decides that both traditional politics and traditional money need a complete overhaul.

According to a press release on July 7, the Nasdaq-listed company has made a bold move, selling about 280 Bitcoin and now boasts a treasury that includes a staggering 100,603 Ethereum, making it one of the biggest institutional Ethereum holders in the world. 🌍

Murad Mahmudov—yes, that very Murad, a man battered and forged by the icy 2020 winds—has become, to our collective surprise, both a shepherd and a wolf in the deranged wilderness. He claims memecoins, those mischievous creatures, have much vigor left in them (as if we should trust anyone who bought Bitcoin before the thaw and now chases memes like a cosmonaut after the last potato).

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“Vols remain pinned near historical lows, but a decisive breach of the $110k resistance could spark a renewed volatility bid. Some larger players appear to be positioning for just that,” Singapore-based QCP Capital remarked in a market update, with a tone that might suggest a hint of amusement at the market’s predictable unpredictability. 😄

Schwartz, harbinger of digital fog and Chief Technology Officer of Ripple, stunned the trembling community with his admission—he snuck into XRP not at a price of $0.50 (as self-congratulating nostalgia hoarders fondly recalled), but at an obscenely low $0.006. Six-tenths of a cent! Even vending machines wept with envy.
This has, inevitably, set the forums aflame, with speculation, admiration, and the odd accusation that Schwartz himself might actually be Satoshi’s long-lost cousin. But let’s be clear: the man opted for a humble salary and a dainty 2% crumb of equity, not the glimmering vaults others chased like hungry Dostoevskian misfits. He will not tell you how much XRP he hoarded or holds. Mystery, apparently, pays dividends.
Never one to shy from poetic repetition, Schwartz also reminded the world that his father (of course, there is always a cryptic father) bagged a million XRP at the princely sum of $0.005 back in 2014. The timing, it seems, proves that familial clairvoyance runs in the Schwartz bloodline.

It’s all getting rather awkward for the almighty dollar, which—like a party guest who just spilled red wine on the host’s cream rug—appears to be losing its “safe and stable” vibes. Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov (waving his best ‘I told you so’ finger) insisted at the BRICS summit in Rio that the U.S. might want to notice fewer people are fangirling over the dollar these days. As Lavrov gleefully pointed out, even Donald Trump had beef with Joe Biden for, allegedly, torching the dollar’s reputation before even moving his boxes into the White House. Lavrov, never one to let drama pass un-commented, quipped: