Our pièce de résistance is none other than the audacious heist of Bybit, pilfered by our finest friends from the DPRK — a spectacle of $1.5 billion stolen! Not to be outdone, the charming gents from Chainalysis inform us that our dear MetaMask is not spared from this melodrama, with nearly 500 poor souls falling victim to daily attacks. Sacré bleu!
According to a recent daily chart shared by the astute analyst GÖKTÜRK DEMİR (@Demir44106384), SEI has successfully breached its key pivot at $0.2375, establishing a bullish structure identified on the chart as “BOĞA.” 🐂
Other notable gainers include Dogecoin (up 7.4%), Shiba Inu (up 5.5%), and Pepe (up 6%). It’s like the whole crypto market is one big joke, and everyone’s in on it. 🤣 The total market cap of meme coins now stands at a staggering $79.87 billion, with a 24-hour trading volume of over $33 billion. That’s a lot of money being thrown around, if you ask me.
According to Reuters, who got their hands on some juicy data from Goldman Sachs’ prime brokerage desk, these hedge funds have been dumping bank stocks for two whole weeks now! 😲 Instead, they’ve been buying consumer staple stocks at a pace that hasn’t been seen in nearly two years. 🏃♂️
Meanwhile, 3,791 wallets (37.4%) are still holding onto their tokens, while a small group of 312 wallets (3%) have actually increased their holdings a week after the token launch. 🤑
Bilal Bin Saqib, CEO of the Pakistan Crypto Council and State Minister for Crypto and Blockchain (because why not give him a few titles), met with President Bukele, a man who, according to Saqib, is “a visionary” for making Bitcoin legal tender in El Salvador, against the tides of global reluctance. Let’s face it – most world leaders were busy clutching their pearls when Bukele made that bold move.
On a Tuesday, the EU, in a dramatic announcement, revealed it had imposed sanctions on multiple entities and individuals using cryptocurrencies to evade restrictions, spread pro-Russia misinformation, and interfere with elections. 📢🚫
World Liberty Financial, a venture that shall remain forever associated with the Trump dynasty, launched the WLFI tokens last autumn. Part of its decentralized finance (DeFi) platform, which also includes a stablecoin called USD1, these tokens were initially designed not for trading, but to grant holders the right to vote on certain business developments. How quaint! 🍂
In a recent press release, Matador Technologies confirmed that its board has approved a long-term plan to scale its Bitcoin holdings significantly. As part of this strategy, the company has set an interim target of holding 1,000 BTC by the end of 2026. 🎯
The lawsuit, filed by some disgruntled former shareholders of ViacomCBS (now frolicking about as Paramount Global), alleges that these titans of the banking world were hiding conflicts of interest when they cheerfully sold off ViacomCBS shares. Their negligence (or was it something else?) allegedly led to the grand implosion of Bill Hwang’s Archegos Capital Management. Yes, the same Archegos that once boasted a cool $36 billion before it spectacularly flopped. 🧐
