Cryptonews

By Shayan

They say the market’s wilder’n a Mississippi steamboat these days, yet Strategy charges ahead like a bull in a china shop, hoarding Bitcoin with the enthusiasm of a man who’s either seen the future or lost his wits. At last count, they’re among the top corporate Bitcoin barons, which is to say they’ve got more confidence in this digital contraption than a banker with a fresh haircut. 🧑💼

Currently, Ethereum graces the exchanges at a delicate $4,173-an elegant 6.89% bow downwards in the last 24 hours, and an impressive 8.13% tumble over the week. And lo! As if to add insult to injury, trading volume has skyrocketed by 122% to a staggering $41.86 billion. One can only imagine the frantic jam in that marketplace, buzzing at a market cap flirtatiously circling $500.67 billion.

No, the company did not publicly notify the impacted users, which drew criticism from blockchain investigator ZachXBT. Because who needs transparency when you can have a secret society of data thieves? 🤡

This latest act of bureaucratic bravado has folks looking nervously at their wallets-and then at Bitcoin, standing there like the rebellious cowboy, independent and unbothered by face scans. Who needs biometric headaches when you can just hold your own coins in your hand, or better yet, in a digital vault that laughs at government mandates?

Oh, great, another way to lose money faster! 🤯💸 Bitget has rolled out 25 new US stock U-based perpetual contracts, offering up to 25x leverage with trading fees so low, they’re practically free… until you lose everything. 🚀💥 The selection includes big names like Tesla, Apple, Nvidia, Coinbase, and Alibaba – because who doesn’t want … Read more

In 2010, Bitcoin was a penny-ante parlor trick. By 2011, it became a $20 curiosity-like a raccoon in a waistcoat. Six years later, $17k! Now it’s a bloated $100K+ whale carcass, reeking of ATHs ($123K in July) and hubris. Imagine investing at launch! A 188,643,000% ROI! You’d be sipping margaritas on Mars while JP Morgan licks your boots. 🚀

This XRP is currently hangin’ ‘round the $2.8 mark, clingin’ to a movin’ average like a barnacle to a ship’s hull. An expert fella named EGRAG CRYPTO – bless his analytical heart – says if it falls through that $2.77 level, “we could see further downside, which isn’t what we want to hear.” Sounds about right. Ain’t nothin’ good come from fallin’ down.

But hark! Sir William Morgan, knight of the pro-XRP realm, declares the curtain’s fallen. “Move along,” he says, tossing confetti over the legal rubble. “Nothing more to see here!”

But hold onto yer hats, folks! Coinbase dares to introduce futures that mingle the likes of crypto exchange-traded funds with those curmudgeonly tech stocks. Meanwhile, Hedera, that wily layer-1 blockchain, sashays through an upgrade on its mainnet, proving it’s seldom dull in this digital circus.