Cryptonews

In a chat with Bankless (yes, that’s a real thing), Lee drew parallels between Ethereum today and Bitcoin in 2017. You know, when Bitcoin decided to take its sweet time before skyrocketing faster than your aunt Mildred on Black Friday. Ethereum, it seems, is now standing at this dramatic crossroads, allegedly undervalued but oh-so-promising. One can’t help but feel a bit skeptical-like being promised a diamond ring only to receive cubic zirconia. ✨

“Every week, there is a Bitcoiner, at least one in the world, who gets kidnapped, tortured, extorted, and sometimes even worse,” she murmured to the Baltic Honeybadger 2025 conference in Riga, Latvia, a city where suspicious glances seem cheaper than a Dogecoin.

As if the laws of the land were stories told by a bored scribe, recent legislation grants a golden pass to investment banks worth no less than fifty million dollars-a sum that, in these days of digital gold, sounds modest only to the enormously wealthy or profoundly foolish. These institutions now have the privilege to dabble in Bitcoin and its cryptic kin, offering these currencies to investors carrying more than a quarter of a million dollars-an amount that, frankly, makes most of us feel quite poor, especially when paired with a fancy ledger and a nod of approval.

In a series of missives on the modern agora known as X, Bloomberg’s sage of ETFs, Eric Balchunas, reveals that the endowments of these Ivy League titans have cast their lots with BlackRock’s iShares Bitcoin Trust (IBIT). A bold move, indeed, for institutions that once scoffed at such plebeian pursuits. 📈

On the grand tapestry of time, the third-largest cryptocurrency has been weaving a rather intricate triangle pattern since the twilight of last year. Each swing, a delicate dance, has narrowed the range until, in a moment of sheer audacity, July’s breakout propelled the price beyond its previous confines. It soared to a dizzying $3.38, only to retreat to a more modest $3.22, which, if one were to be honest, feels less like a retreat and more like a brief intermission in a long-winded play.

“It puts a smile on my face to see ETH shorts get smoked today. Stop betting against BTC and ETH – you will be run over,” he tweeted to his nearly 6 million followers, a sentiment that could only be described as gleeful. 🎉

According to Arkham-whoever they are-Vitalik’s wallets are now holding about 240,042 ETH. That’s a cool $1.04 billion, folks! But let’s be real, that’s just on-chain. Who knows what he’s hiding under his mattress? Maybe a few NFTs of cats wearing sunglasses? 🐱😎

Meanwhile, Chainlink (LINK) decided it wasn’t going to be left out of this weekend soirée. With a cheeky 7% surge, LINK strutted confidently past $22, leaving the rest of the altcoins looking like wallflowers at a high school prom. Some coins tried to keep up-ETH flexed its muscles briefly-but others? Well, let’s just say they’re nursing their losses and eating ice cream straight from the carton. 🍦

Marvin Bertin, Maestro’s Co-Founder and CEO, says it best: “For the first time since 2009, the critical pieces for on-chain financial apps on Bitcoin are in place.” Translation? Bitcoin has gone from “digital gold” to “digital everything,” complete with lending, staking, and even stablecoins. Who knew the world’s most famous cryptocurrency had such a work ethic?

Picture this: millions of Americans dutifully contributing to their 401(k)s every two weeks like clockwork, blissfully unaware that even a tiny slice of their hard-earned cash could be rerouted into Bitcoin. Spot ETFs? Pfft. Those are so last season. According to Tom Dunleavy-a man who sounds like he should be leading a Dungeons & Dragons campaign but is actually Head of Venture at Varys Capital-Bitcoin in 401(k)s is the real MVP move. In fact, he boldly declared on X (formerly Twitter, formerly “the place where people yell at each other”) that this development dwarfs the excitement around spot Bitcoin ETFs. Bold words from someone whose job title probably requires carrying a sword. Or at least a very nice pen.