The XRP supply isn’t just dumped like your ex’s stuff on the lawn – oh no, it’s released monthly like a fine wine… or more accurately, like your Amazon subscription to questionable T-shirts. 😅 With all these “serious business” partnerships with banks (who knew banks still existed?), demand might actually go up! Who needs dog memes when you’ve got… banking compliance? (Mel Brooks did musicals about more exciting things, but we’ll take it!)
“We do believe in accumulation,” Hines cooed, with the gravitas of a man explaining arithmetic to a toddler. When pressed on whether this mythical reserve actually exists, he replied, “We have it. It’s been established.” Oh, well, that settles it. No need for pesky details like, say, *evidence*. 🎩💼
The driving force behind this meteoric rise is none other than the growth of Ethena’s native stablecoin, USDe, whose circulating supply has now ballooned to $7.54 billion. This surge has been accompanied by a 50% increase in Ethena’s Total Value Locked (TVL) in July alone. The impact of StablecoinX’s $260M buyback, initiated on July 21, continues to ripple through the market, with approximately 8% of the supply expected to be removed from circulation by the end of August. Ah, the sweet scent of scarcity! 🌸
Oh, what a glorious summer it was for Robinhood, the digital cowboy of Wall Street, as it galloped into Q2 2025 with a revenue leap so high, it might’ve made a hawk weep. A 45% jump, $989 million in gold coins clinking in its pockets, and the crypto division? Why, it was a firework show … Read more
Japan is playing it cool with its monetary policy, like that one friend who insists on “keeping things chill” even when everyone else is panicking. Meanwhile, a Korean court sentenced a Chinese scammer who thought laundering money through USDT was a good idea. Spoiler: It wasn’t. And Trump? Oh, he’s got a one-page plan for a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve. One page. That’s shorter than most people’s grocery lists. Let’s unpack this dumpster fire, shall we?
According to a July 31 report by Yahoo Finance (yes, they’re still around), this marks a 98% year-over-year increase. Impressive, right? But let’s not forget the 36% quarterly dip, because the crypto market is basically a moody teenager. 🌪️
But darling, August is here, and suddenly, SOL’s looking a bit… deflated. Like a balloon at a vegan birthday party 🎈🌱. Investors are doing the crypto shuffle—selling faster than you can say “tax implications.” And who can blame them? Everyone loves locking in gains like they’re locking their ex’s Netflix password.
Coinbase Institutional made its grand announcement on social media platform X (formerly Twitter, but let’s not dwell on that tragedy) on July 29. The star of the show? Nano XRP U.S. Perpetual-Style Futures, set to debut on August 18 through Coinbase Derivatives. The firm proclaimed:
But $4k? Pfft, that’s no joke. It’s like that ex who keeps ghosting you – dense, resistant, and probably a distribution top from past heartbreaks. Statistically, charging straight through without a fakeout is about as likely as me winning an Oscar for this crypto gig. Bulls might poke a wick up there, but sustaining it? Nah, needs a crowd of momentum traders and some serious buying pressure. And RSI over 80? Oof, that’s overbought territory, screaming for a chill pill or a quick dip. Could be a sideways shuffle or a pullback, but hey, after this parabolic lunacy, even ETH needs a coffee break. ☕ If it holds above $3,750 without melting down from profit-takers, maybe it’ll smash through. Otherwise, a dip to $3,400 could just recharge for round two. Fingers crossed! 🤞
The agreement shields Korea’s sensitive agricultural sectors—rice and beef—from further market opening, much like how one might shield their secret stash of cookies from hungry siblings. And just in time too! The looming threat of 25% tariffs was set to crash the party on August 1, but alas, cooler heads (and bigger wallets) prevailed.
