Cryptonews

According to a report by Galaxy Research (who clearly have too much time on their hands), companies like Strategy, Metaplanet, and SharpLink have collectively amassed over $100 billion worth of digital assets. That’s enough to make even Scrooge McDuck reconsider his swimming habits. Bitcoin (BTC) hoarders lead the pack with 791,662 BTC—worth around $93 billion—while Ether (ETH) enthusiasts aren’t far behind with 1.3 million ETH tokens, valued at over $4 billion. Who needs stock options when you can just buy magic internet money instead? 🪙

This move could give the crypto market a good laugh, tightening rules and changing how investors trade and borrow digital assets. 🎭💰

Apparently, ETF inflows, on-chain activity, and Bitcoin’s mood swings are all playing their parts in this financial drama. If ETH can break above $4,000 with confidence (and maybe a bit of glitter), we might see it flirting with $4,300 or even $4,500. But—and here’s the kicker—if it slips below $3,600, prepare for some serious FOMO-induced panic as it could tumble toward $3,400 faster than you can say “decentralized finance.” 😬

According to CryptoQuant—yes, that fun group of number-crunchers—this isn’t just a random blip. Nope. We’re allegedly barreling into what they call a true “altcoin season.” But don’t get your hopes up; it’s probably not the fun kind you tell your grandma about.

Oh, El Salvador. Just when the world was looking elsewhere, suddenly you’re the kid in class reportedly acing the crypto pop quiz. But let’s slow our crypto roll: following an IMF deal worth $1.4 billion and the ever-inquisitive Cornell Bitcoin Group study, numbers started making rounds claiming the entire country is halfway to being a live-action blockchain. But, and there’s always a but, let’s see what’s really bubbling in that tech cauldron.

A maestro in the art of scaling, Ripple aims to bring titans of finance onto its XRP Ledger (XRPL)—because nothing screams “trust me” quite like onboarding bankers into a decentralized wonderland. Think of it as inviting the whales to a tea party, only this time, the tea is tokenized assets and cross-border payments. 🍵💸

Robert “Bo” Hines, a senior adviser on digital assets, finally broke the silence during a recent interview, confirming what many had only dared to dream. “The Strategic Bitcoin Reserve,” he declared, “is not just a figment of our imagination; it is very much real, and it is already in place.” Hines, with a sly grin, added, “We’re serious about Bitcoin. We want as much as we can get, and we mean business.”

Verisign, the internet infrastructure provider that makes sure your emails don’t end up in Siberia, announced Berkshire’s sale on Monday. Berkshire, the Omaha-based investment giant, will sell 4,300,000 shares of Verisign’s common stock to the public for $285 per share. Goodbye, Verisign, it was nice knowing you! 🙌

The current price—a fleeting illusion, of course—stands at $3,870.03, up a paltry 1.14% in the last twenty-four hours. A month ago? A rather more stimulating 57.15% increase. One must, however, approach these numbers with a healthy dose of skepticism, and perhaps a small glass of something bracing. They claim the ‘fundamentals’ and ‘on-chain’ metrics are ‘aligning.’ Ah, yes, alignment. A beautifully vague word. I, for one, shall attempt to ‘decode’ this short-term price ‘analysis,’ with the full understanding that any prediction is, at best, an exercise in elegant futility. 🎭

It appears the hackers, those digital magicians, hacked his credentials with all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop, installing malware that turned Agarwal’s official laptop into a Trojan horse. Yes, somewhere between coffee breaks and email chains, someone’s private agenda got a bit *too* personal.