Ethereum reserves on Binance and Coinbase have taken a nosedive, while the Long/Short Ratio, Funding Rates, and liquidation clusters are painting a picture so bullish it might make a bull blush. 📈🐂
Our old pal SHIB has been pressing down onto this support like a determined child trying to squeeze into last summer’s shorts. Each dip is being swallowed up quicker than a starving man at a buffet, leaving behind an incredibly monotonous yet utterly stubborn floor. This is like the stubborn last slice of pizza that nobody wants to claim, yet fear persists at the thought of adding another “new zero” to SHIB’s price figure. 🍕
And wouldn’t you know it, Sun’s hollering to get his tokens back, like a boy who’s lost his kite in a thunderstorm.
Fresh from their purchase of Molecular Labs (presumably a group of Nobel Prize-winning boffins and a coffee machine), Paxos Labs plans to mint USDH so natively on HyperEVM and HyperCore, one suspects the very atoms will hum with compliance. And compliance! Never have so many jurisdictions been so enthusiastically namedropped: MiCA, GENIUS claims, and possibly Interpol, if things go south. Expect onchain and fiat rails for on/off‑ramps so global, even your aunt in Buenos Aires might get involved – accidentally, after pressing the wrong emoji. 🤑
Imagine, if you will, a world where two cryptocurrencies, XRP and ADA, were locked in a fierce battle for supremacy. For most of last year, they were like two sleepy cats, barely moving. ADA was napping in a cozy range between $0.3 and $0.5, while XRP was dozing off between $0.4 and $0.6, occasionally twitching in its sleep.
Arkham Intelligence, because of course someone as coolly dramatic as Arkham noticed these guys, flagged these Bitcoins tied to Movie2K-a name that’s about as highbrow as a middle-schooler’s playlist. Remember Movie2K? That piracy website everyone loved to love to hate? Well, the operators were nabbed back in 2019, but you’d think German authorities did the World Cup juggling act so smoothly that they left this treasure unopened. Oh, and those 49,858 BTC they did snag earlier? Sold them off last summer when Bitcoin wouldn’t look at them and was sulking at $57,900.
The Pi Coin (PI), as of this seventh day of September, was observed to be trading at a mere $0.3440. A state of affairs it has endured, with remarkable consistency, since the month of August. One wonders if excitement is entirely lacking, or if investors possess a peculiar taste for stagnation.
Enter Thumzup, strutting onto the scene with a $50 million capital raise to purchase 2,500 Dogecoin mining rigs (with dreams of expanding to 3,500). They’re also snapping up DogeHash Technologies, presumably to corner the market on Dogecoin mining chic. At current prices, this operation could rake in anywhere from $22 million to $103 million annually. “Large-scale mining is critical,” quips crypto analyst SeniorDeFi, who sees a potential 72% surge to $0.37. Darling, if only my bank account had such ambitions. 💰
In other news, SHIB’s price took a slight nosedive, dropping down like your grandma after she sits on the last piece of pie. 🍰 Are you kidding me? It couldn’t even hold on to that 1.9% rise from Friday! Talk about a rollercoaster of emotions! 🎢