According to the public blockchain tracker Shibburn (a name that sounds both serious and slightly mischievous, wouldn’t you agree?), the past week has witnessed a monstrous surge in SHIB burns. A grand total of 22,652,982 SHIB coins have been ceremoniously locked away in dead-end wallets, a spectacle that most certainly wouldn’t pass the family-friendly review of your average meme enthusiast.
The sudden price surges have whipped up a frenzy of speculative interest. Along with this, there’s been a noticeable uptick in derivative trading. In such a climate, the focus shifts from quick, get-rich-quick schemes to more solid, fundamental platforms. Investors, they’re thirsty for stability. They’re looking for a new way to play the game, something more reliable and secure.
Earlier this week, they dropped a cool $44 million on 10,000 ETH, which is basically the financial equivalent of saying, “Yeah, we’re serious about this crypto thing.” But according to Caixin, they’re not done yet. BTC and SOL are next on the menu, because apparently Yunfeng is determined to make fiat currencies cry in a corner. 😭💸
Once, oh how glorious it was, supporting 52 well-to-do cold wallets, brimming with as much as 26.8 million XRP apiece. Alas, the grand scheme has folded into ten well-mannered executors, each harboring about 16.5 million coins. My word, what a sight! Such conservative complicity is delightful.
Behold, Matt Poblocki, general purveyor of Binance’s Australian and New Zealand escapades, took to the stage-or should we say, the virtual script of CryptoMoon-to lament: “Seamless access,” he proclaimed, “affects participation, instilling confidence and office-worthy trust in the market. Yet, these barriers brood, stifling adoption and flowering growth!”
Enter OxPepesso, a self-proclaimed sage of the markets, who has taken to X (née Twitter) to declare his dramatic exit from the crypto stage by October. With all the flair of an actor in a Molière farce, he points to historical patterns as his guiding stars. Ah, but beware, dear investors, for the fabled “altcoin season” may be shorter than your patience for this charade!
The OIG’s account reveals that from the 18th of October, 2022, to the 6th of September, 2023, Mr. Gensler’s government-issued mobile ceased to synchronize with the SEC’s device management system. In a twist worthy of a Gothic novel, the SEC’s Office of Information Technology (OIT) erroneously marked the phone as inactive, leading to an automatic wipe. In a misguided effort to revive the device, the staff performed a factory reset, thus erasing all text messages and operational logs. The OIG described these events as a series of “avoidable” errors, exacerbated by the absence of backups. 📲💥
Everyone’s rushing to government bonds and gold, clearly panicking about recession-poor Bitcoin can’t catch a break.
This gambit positions Fireblocks at the epicenter of what it insists will be 2025’s fastest-growing segment: enterprise-grade stablecoin settlements. One wonders if they’ve mistaken themselves for the Bright Young Things of the financial world, though their ambitions are as grand as any socialite’s.
Meanwhile, Nasdaq, the gatekeeper of tradition, has thrown its weight around like a bull in a china shop, scrutinizing digital asset treasury firms. Strategy’s stock took a tumble, as if mocked by the very institutions it hopes to charm. Tradition, it seems, is a stubborn beast. 🐂
