The CoinShares Bitcoin Mining ETF (WGMI) jumped 12% to an all-time high of $33.13 on Tuesday, spurred by Nebius Group’s $17.4 billion GPU romance with Microsoft. Crypto miners and AI stocks everywhere were suddenly dancing like nobody was watching.
🚀 UPDATE: Finality on Vacation!
The chain’s still dancing, blocks and checkpoints are doing the tango, but finality? Oh, it’s sipping margaritas somewhere. 🍹 We’ve got the fix, and it’s hitting the stage faster than a Mel Brooks punchline!
– Polygon Foundation (@0xPolygonFdn) September 10, 2025
As revealed by the ever-vigilant analyst Ali Martinez, the 12-hour chart now displays what appears to be a classic “head and shoulders” formation-cryptocurrency’s equivalent of Shakespearean tragedy. The left shoulder took shape back in February; the head, marked by a dramatic plunge in April, resembles the existential despair of Raskolnikov himself. And now, dear reader, the right shoulder is forming as we speak-or rather, as you read this very sentence. 😅
Eligible European investors, rejoice! 🎉 For Kraken has bestowed upon you the gift of trading tokenized certificates of popular US equities, all while sidestepping the tedious embrace of traditional brokers. Imagine, if you will, a world where the clock strikes 3 AM and you’re still trading stocks-because why sleep when you can speculate? 🕰️
The MYX token skyrocketed 1,400% to $18.42 in a week. Yes, you read that right. Or did you? 🚀
You see, Brandt, who’s been navigating markets since the era of rotary phones and disco balls, isn’t too thrilled about Robinhood’s new “Multiple accounts” feature. In fact, his reaction is somewhere between an eye-roll and a full-blown sarcastic roast. 🙃
Don’t get me wrong-Bitcoin still reigns supreme as the king of market cap and the poster child for “digital gold.” But let’s face it: Ethereum is now the funhouse mirror where all the action happens. Between ETH 2.0, staking fever, DeFi explosions, and Layer 2 wizardry like Arbitrum and Optimism, Ethereum has become the playground where traders frolic like kids in a candy store. 🎢🎢
With most of these funds earmarked to expand its already cosmic-size Bitcoin collection, Metaplanet is embracing digital assets in a ‘treasury strategy’ braver than a Vogon reciting poetry at dinner.
Ripple, the company behind that thing called XRP – which honestly still confuses everyone at family dinners – announced they’re teaming up with BBVA. You remember BBVA, the Spanish bank that in July 2025 decided, “Hey, why don’t we start trading and guarding Bitcoin and Ethereum for our everyday folks?” Yeah, that one.
Hold onto your digital wallets, folks, because this merger means Strive is about to raise a *whopping* $1.5 billion to fund its Bitcoin-buying spree. We’re talking about a corporate strategy that involves *a lot* of Bitcoin acquisition. And, no, we’re not talking about a few measly coins here and there. Strive is aiming for up to 13,450 BTC at current prices. That’s a pretty impressive chunk of the crypto pie.
