This Ethereum ascendance is perceived as the dawn of the next bullish epoch, the big comeback, as investors’ eyes dart away from Bitcoin to the shiny allure of altcoins. A veritable game of musical chairs is in progress-though with fewer chairs and more speculative frenzy.
Most of these bots hang out within Telegram, that cozy messenger where you probably spend way too much time anyway, whispering secrets of the crypto universe, or shouting about your latest wins (or losses-no judgements). These digital helpers can mirror other traders, swoop in on liquidity, and even join token giveaways-all with the ferocity of a raccoon after a picnic basket. Here’s a roster of the finest bots this August, guaranteed to make your old trading habits look like trying to herd cats:
Now, don’t get too excited. They’re still in the “let’s dream big” phase. The U.K. firm has signed a non-binding letter of intent (cue the dramatic music) with 360 Energy, a company that finds natural gas and tries to make it sound sexy. Under the LOI conditions, they’re aiming to turn natural gas into electricity to power-wait for it-data centers. Because nothing says “I’m living my best life” like a gas field turned Bitcoin factory! 😂
Crypto analyst X account Crypto Rand, in an act of impeccable timing, reminded the world of this ancient oracle’s forecast-because what better way to celebrate underwhelming milestones than by sounding notably prescient? 🌍
Since January 2024 (yes, they’ve had *months* to perfect their villainy), these digital highwaymen have been peddling “crypto trading bots” like they’re selling snake oil at a carnival. Using Remix, an innocent tool meant for coding smart contracts, they trick users into deploying what is essentially a Trojan horse. Once deployed, the bot grants the scammer secret access to your wallet-because nothing screams “trustworthy” like handing over your financial keys to strangers online. 🤷♂️🔐
After weeks of aggressive profit-taking near the $123K peak, new Glassnode data shows that spending activity from recent buyers has cooled off – a signal that the worst of the post-ATH dump might be behind us. 🧠✨
Oh, the irony! These so-called “tutorials” are but a masquerade, a dance of false promises and AI-generated whispers, leading the desperate to a trap more insidious than a snake in the grass. 🧙♂️
Behold the sullen countenance of Bitcoin’s dominance, now a mere 60.7%, a shadow of its former self! While Ethereum, that cunning serpent, has clawed its way to a 47.21% return in Q3, outpacing Bitcoin’s meager 7.14%. A most peculiar dance, this! The Altseason index, that fickle oracle, now stands at 37-a number both ominous and tantalizing. 🌀
Now, dears, let us tiptoe through the tulips of eligibility. The Midnight Foundation took its snapshot of XRP balances at Ledger index 96724473. If your balance flirts with or surpasses 43.29 XRP (roughly $28 at press time), congratulations-you’re in the game! But don’t get too excited; the tokens won’t land in your XRP address like a tipsy guest at a soirée. Instead, they’ll glide over to a fresh Cardano address, forcing you to cross chains with all the grace of a debutante attempting the cha-cha. 💃🕺 Oh, and did I mention? Only one claim per identity, darling. Midnight isn’t handing out seconds here.
Amid this frenzy, the altcoin season index lingers at a meager 35. Yet, some analysts whisper of an impending altseason, as if the gods of crypto are about to bless us with another round of digital alchemy.
