Cryptonews

NEOS Investment Management has decided to take a walk on the wild side of the crypto jungle 🦊. The firm has filed with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) to launch something called the High Income Ethereum ETF. Sounds fancy, right? Like that one time you ordered truffle fries but didn’t know what truffles were. This ETF promises “greater returns,” which we all know is code for “slightly more terrifying risks.” 🎢

The plot thickened faster than a cup of instant noodles when Ledger’s CTO, Charles Guillemet, chimed in. He suggested Qubic’s supreme rule over mining leaves other miners with all the motivation of a sloth at a desk job. With control of this magnitude, Qubic could theoretically block rival blocks, doodle on the chain’s history, and attempt a double-spending attack-essentially, Monopoly money with roller skates. 🦥💸

This flatline tells a story of buyers and sellers locked in a stalemate. But dig deeper, and multiple timeframes are now flashing signals that point to a possible deeper correction or the sellers winning. A grim tale indeed, where the market whispers of impending doom. 😱

What does this mean, you ask? Well, imagine a world where liquidity flows like champagne at a billionaire’s birthday party. That’s the dream, isn’t it? Coinbase, in its infinite wisdom, plans to inject USDC and EURC (Circle’s euro-pegged stablecoin) into platforms like Aave, Morpho, Kamino, and Jupiter. Oh, how noble! How heroic! 🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️

In an act of financial bravado, this Japanese titan-originally a modest hotel operator-slipped on its digital cape and scoop up 518 more coins for roughly $61.4 million. At an average of $118,519 each (because why buy a latte when you can buy a Bitcoin, right?), their stash now weighs in at about $1.85 billion. Ah, the sweet smell of digital riches-surely enough to make even the most stoic accountant crack a smile. With an average purchase cost of $101,911 per coin, it’s like they’re playing Monopoly, but with much more serious money.

$HYPER is currently trading at $0.012675 during the presale, but like a toddler in a candy store, this price is guaranteed to increase as the project hits its milestones. The next milestone? A wallet-busting $9,121,023.09. But what’s fueling this frenzy? Let’s dive into the chaos. 🕵️‍♂️

Tell me, is it tragedy or comedy when a simple line graph screams higher highs and higher lows with the absurd theatricality of a Moscow street performer? Yesterday the coin lay gasping near $2,112; today it struts at $4,435, corseted by the humble $4,000 support-“a mere mortal’s floor,” whisper the sycophant analysts, “yet Olympus beckons!” Small-bodied candles at the summit leer like bureaucrats awaiting bribes: “Pay us in momentum, dear sir, or be forever stuck in bureaucratic fog.”
Meanwhile MACD and Momentum puff chests like fresh conscripts: Forward march, comrade ETH! 🚀

If the buyers keep pushing and manage to break through that pesky level, we might just see a nice, slow crawl toward the $4 region. You know, just a casual stroll up a mountain of resistance. 🏔️

So, ZORA crypto decided to throw a little party recently, rallying from $0.108 to a shiny new all-time high of $0.148. But then-plot twist-it retraced faster than my enthusiasm for a family reunion, landing at $0.121 at press time. Classic crypto behavior, right? It’s like watching a toddler on a sugar rush: up, down, and occasionally face-planting into the couch cushions. 🍬📉

DeepBook is your go-to decentralized central limit order book (CLOB) on the Sui blockchain. It’s like the backbone of the Sui ecosystem, providing the infrastructure for decentralized exchanges (DEXs), wallets, and other applications to trade tokens. Talk about a heavy lifter! 💪