Since the last local low, there’s been a sharp upward trendline steeper than a mountain goat’s tail. If it fails, expect a free fall faster than a pig in a blanket. 🐖 The trendline’s probably gonna break, and when it does, XRP’ll be sprinting toward lower supports like a man chased by a bear. 🐻
Keyrock and Bitso, two gents sitting in a room smelling of coffee and fear of missing out, pushed a paper across the table Thursday and said the rabbit would grow to a trillion by the time the corn is tall in 2030. They smiled the thin smiles of men who’ve learned to sell tomorrow while yesterday’s bills go unpaid.
According to the ever-watchful defillama.com, the TVL may have taken a 3.23% tumble in the past 24 hours, but it remains firmly above the $150 billion mark-a testament to the sector’s indomitable spirit. Stablecoins, those steadfast wallflowers, boast a combined market capitalization of $273.3 billion, while DEX platforms waltz through $24.665 billion in daily trading volume. Perpetuals markets, ever the show-offs, processed $38.692 billion, and network participants generously parted with $121.27 million in transaction fees. 🕺💸
The result? A liquidation carnival, with over $1 billion in leveraged positions evaporating faster than a wit’s reputation at a Wilde soiree. More than 218,000 traders, poor souls, found themselves in the red as Bitcoin plunged from $122,000 to a lowly $117,000. One can almost hear the collective gasp of the market, a symphony of despair and dashed hopes.
Officially it’s called a “Guaranteed Basic Income” pilot. Unofficially it’s the “We-really-do-need-to-look-busy-before-the-next-election-spectacular”, starring 20 Maryland households with between two to five children who range in age from ankle-biters to full-blown teenagers-scientists still can’t decide which demographic consumes more cereal and Wi-Fi.
In a thread on X (formerly known as Twitter, for those living under a rock), Bessent proclaims that this endeavor is nothing less than the fulfillment of President Donald Trump’s grandiose vision: to make America the “Bitcoin superpower of the world.” 🦅✨ One can almost hear the trumpets blaring as the nation marches toward this glittering, pixelated destiny.
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So, Spark (SPK) has dropped to $0.082. This is its lowest point since July 29, plummeting 55% since its historic peak in July. Market capitalization is currently praying for a miracle, down to $127 million from a somewhat more optimistic $188 million. As Bridget would say: “Sad face.”
All week long, Democrats have been performing their favorite opera: “Cavalleria Crypto-cana.” The libretto features Senator Warren’s soprano shrieks, Sanders’ gravelly bass, and AOC’s agile coloratura-plus a chorus of lesser-known tenors who discovered yesterday that their voters actually care about digital coins. 🎭
