Cryptonews

By Shayan, our intrepid analyst who probably owns a monocle.

Let’s get this straight: the GOP’s crypto bill is being led by Tim Scott (R-S.C.), Cynthia Lummis (R-Wyo.), and their squad. The “Responsible Financial Innovation Act of 2025” dropped a draft in September that made everyone go “Hmm, okay…” One idea? A joint committee with SEC, CFTC, and 14 random industry folks. Because nothing says “responsibility” like letting 14 strangers into the room. 🤷♀️

Ah, Brazil-land of samba, sun, and now, severely inconvenienced crypto criminals. The government, in its infinite wisdom, has sharpened the legal knives against Bitcoin laundering, demanding that brokers and tech firms join the fun-whether they like it or not. 🎭

Let’s break it down, shall we? US customers are getting an extra 40% this round, bringing their total recovery to a cool 95%. 🇺🇸🤑 International folks under the dotcom entity? Another 6%, inching them up to 78%. 🌍 Meanwhile, general unsecured creditors and digital asset loan holders are getting 24% more, hitting nearly 85%. 📈 And the real MVPs? Convenience claims are getting 120% of their original claims. Because apparently, being small and speedy pays off. 🐇💨

According to the ever-reliable Busqueda, Tether’s payment defaults began in May 2025. By June, UTE’s president, the formidable Andrea Cabrera, penned a Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) with Microfin, the local operator tied to this mining extravaganza. But, my dears, negotiations are only as good as the willingness to pay, and Tether seemed rather unwilling. After arrears piled up like unsold tickets to a Coward revival, UTE invoked its standard procedures, dipping into security deposits before pulling the plug on July 25. The mining sites in Flores and Florida? Left in the dark. Quite literally. 🌚💡

The grand crypto circus packed up another volatile week, all while the U.S. Federal Reserve tinkered with the interest rates like a wizard fumbling with a wonky spell. The market capitalization started off peeking just under $4.17 trillion, then flirted briefly with $4.2 trillion on September 19th before crashing back down to $4.12 trillion by the 20th. It’s that classic crypto mood swing: One minute you’re riding high like a caffeinated dragon, the next you’re wondering why you agreed to this madness at all.

So here’s the tea. Out of those 27 million transactions, a massive chunk-25 million-was handled by Layer 2 solutions like Arbitrum, Optimism, Polygon, and Base. Meanwhile, the mainnet only managed to scrape by with a measly 2 million. Poor thing. 😢

The Bank of Italy, that bastion of prudence, has cast a shadow upon the burgeoning realm of stablecoins, those digital phantoms that dance on the edge of our financial abyss. On Thursday, the illustrious Chiara Scotti, Vice Director of the central bank, sounded the alarm, her voice a tremulous whisper of dread: “The issuance of these coins by myriad players across the globe may herald a tempest that could storm the shores of the European Union’s financial stability!” 🧠💸

With indicators hinting at a possible reversal, PUMP could face more downside in the near term. 🧙‍♂️

According to those mysterious gods of finance known as exchanges (ethereum, if you’re one to trust names), futures open interest (OI) is strutting around $64.57 billion-roughly 14.43 million ETH-like a cat convinced it owns the place, all courtesy of Coinglass. Markets have been chopping about September as if trying to figure out where the last slice of pizza went.