Cryptonews

Observing the XRP’s, ahem, “price chart” (as if one needs a chart to observe a price!), it seems the gentlemen on the buying side have managed to hold their positions. Now that the tiresome affair with the SEC is, at last, concluded, many predictors of the future are anticipating notable gains. While claims of £100 a share are clearly the fancies of an over-imaginative mind – such sums are best left to novels – a more sensible £7 to £10 is now deemed plausible. 🧐

Ethereum, ever the overachiever, has climbed 3.09% in a day and 30% in a week, now trading at $4,762. XRP, meanwhile, is having a “meh” moment with a 3.46% rise to $3.33, while Solana has leapt 4.6% to $206.58-because why not? Dogecoin, the golden retriever of cryptos, is sprinting 7.63% daily and 24.5% weekly, probably in search of a snack. 🐕

Thumzup announced with great pomp and circumstance that it would expand its crypto strategy to include “large-scale cryptocurrency mining and targeted blockchain investments.” Imagine that! A company that once helped you sell more widgets online is now planning to dig digital gold. 🏺✨

Peirce revealed that the SEC staff has been grinding since January on crypto guidance. Yes, while the rest of us have been working tirelessly to perfect our sourdough recipes, SEC’s been busy deciding how to regulate your painfully speculative digital coins. Instead of new laws, we might be getting rules that look suspiciously like the kinds of memos your boss sends and you never read. 📄💁‍♀️

The gist is: Dogecoin printed a “bullish engulfing candle” on the weekly. Translation: it made a green crayon doodle that’s bigger than last week’s red crayon doodle. He says if DOGE can just close above $0.241-roughly the cost of one CVS receipt-we’re officially in the promised land. Hold my chew toy, Shaq. 😂

The price of Ethereum (ETH), that most fashionable of cryptocurrencies, has risen by 4.74% over the last 24 hours. A modest increase, one might say, for a coin with such grand delusions of grandeur. 🎩✨

Enter Soramitsu, the Japanese blockchain wizards best known for making Cambodia’s digital money feel slicker than a Tokyo commuter train at rush hour. They’ve just been handed the keys to Pakistan’s financial candy store. The State Bank of Pakistan (SBP) wants the pair to whip up a shiny pilot programme for a Central Bank Digital Currency (CBDC). The goal? To give the Pakistani rupee a smartphone makeover without accidentally crashing the entire economy. No pressure. 🫣

Bitcoin (BTC), that old rascal, crossed the mighty resistance point of $122,000, while Ethereum (ETH) soared above $4,700, leaving many a jaw on the floor. And let’s not forget the sprightly Solana (SOL), Binance Coin (BNB), and Ripple (XRP) who joined the party, dancing like they just won the lottery.

DAT companies, my dear reader, are not mere hoarders of cryptocurrency, content to let their digital riches gather dust in the vaults of their balance sheets. Nay, they are the alchemists of the modern age, actively deploying their holdings in a quest to transmute idle assets into golden yields. Through staking, lending, and other arcane financial rituals, they seek to compound returns, a strategy as ambitious as it is fraught with peril. 🧙‍♂️🔮

The deal-forgive me for trembling at its brazen capital letters-dangles Vivopower before Crypto.com’s glittering cabal like a new necklace at a duchess’ ball. Rumor has it the Flare Network will soon sprinkle restaking stardust on this liaison, a bit like adding gold leaf to a gateau already oozing with sarcasm icing. 🎭