Cryptonews

They also boasted about launching a “C10 Index”-a basket of the top ten cryptocurrencies (excluding, of course, those dull stablecoins) to track and perhaps someday-who knows?-rise to the glorious status of an ETF. Because nothing says “future of transportation” like a portfolio of volatile digital tokens. Alongside this, Faraday plans to drop between half a billion and a billion dollars into these top ten coins, starting with a mere $30 million. All that staking yield will supposedly fund innovation, stock buybacks, and other corporate jazz. 😉

Meanwhile, the larger memecoin ecosystem finds itself in a most precarious position, menaced by the Qubic community, whose audacity knows no bounds. One might wonder if they’ve taken their cues from the notorious 51% attack on Monero, now casting their covetous eyes upon Dogecoin (DOGE), the most popular of the lot. 🐕💸

In an interview with Fox Business-that paragon of intellectual rigor-the inimitable Mr. Bessent assured the populace that the government’s Bitcoin reserves shall remain untouched by the tainted funds of direct purchases. Instead, they shall rely on the far more aristocratic method of seizing assets from miscreants. 🕵️♂️✨ “Budget-neutral pathways,” he cooed, as if discussing the latest fad in high society. One can almost hear the clinking of champagne flutes in the background. 🥂

Top altcoins like Ripple (XRP), Ethereum (ETH), Solana (SOL), and Sui (SUI) all dropped more than 5%. Smaller coins like Raydium, Aerodrome Finance, and Bonk are playing the role of bottom feeders. 🐟

The lucky soloist used the Solo CK pool, which, as you might have guessed, is a service specifically for solo miners who just love living on the edge. Block 910,440 was the lucky winner, and our friend here collected the usual 3.125 BTC and a tiny bit of extra glory with about 0.012 BTC in transaction fees. This block contained 4,913 transactions, and the fees totaled $1,455. Not bad, right? 💸

In a most theatrical display, the group proclaimed that they had orchestrated the reorganization of six blocks on Monero, and then, like a benevolent monarch, summoned their loyal subjects to cast their votes on which ASIC-friendly proof-of-work coin should be the next to endure their experimental whims. The fateful day of this democratic farce was August 17, a date that shall live in infamy!

Yes, sir, the gentlemen from Fluidstack (who apparently never met a server they couldn’t hug) have flicked their contractual switch labeled “MORE” and ordered up CB-5, a 160-megawatt glass-and-steel corral for electrons. Scheduled to open its metallic maw late summer 2026, right when every respectable intern is sipping iced lattes and pretending to understand Kubernetes.

But don’t despair! There’s still a chance this digital sock might bounce back-provided it doesn’t trip over its own feet and crash into the $2.10 abyss.

Since its feeble attempt to reclaim glory on August 13, ETH has descended with all the grace of a sack of potatoes tossed down a staircase. Down 10% in five days, and the bears are sharpening their claws for more.

The primary culprit, if one may say so without too much fanfare, appears to be the impending unlocking of over 167 million PI tokens in the forthcoming thirty days, including a handsome 9.8 million released just on August 16. Historically, such unlocks tend to swell the circulating supply, causing a cascade of sell-offs, particularly when liquidity remains as thin as the patience of a frustrated investor. At current valuations, the August unlock volume of approximately $6.1 million threatens to overwhelm even the most optimistic of markets. Meanwhile, the centralized exchanges hold a formidable 411 million PI-about 5% of the total supply-sitting comfortably on Bitget alone with 141 million, thereby fueling fears of concentrated sell pressure, like a ritualistic dance of despair. To add spice to this bittersweet brew, the community’s grumbles grow louder over delayed KYC procedures and the elusive referral bonuses, further dampening spirits and encouraging a collective sigh of frustration. 😅