Cryptonews

Let us pause and marvel at the audacity of such a sum. Under this agreement, Fluidstack will expand its operations at TeraWulf’s Lake Mariner campus in New York-a location so picturesque one wonders if Bitcoin miners double as amateur painters during lunch breaks. A new data center is set to open in 2026, and Google’s financial commitment ensures those lease obligations are met. Should Fluidstack falter-and let’s hope they don’t, lest we witness the first corporate tragedy written entirely in binary code-Google steps in to cover the $3.2 billion shortfall. In return, they earn the right to purchase over 73 million shares of TeraWulf. Quite the bargain, isn’t it?

BTCBTC$115,346.42◢0.19%

“Macroeconomic shenanigans and the return of investors picnicking around the Bitcoin bush can give it a nudge or a belly flop. So, we’re bold and say: by the end of this year, $180k is as good as hitting ‘Buy, Hold, and Snort’!” exclaimed the famous VanEck report, which might or might not have been written on an iPad kept in a giant wheelbarrow.

Now, this initiative aims to bring some order to the wild west of stablecoins, layin’ down rules for creatin’ and managin’ ‘em like a schoolteacher with a ruler. From issuance to collateral, they’re coverin’ it all-though whether it’ll stick better than a band-aid on a hog remains to be seen. 🤔 Lawmakers are crowin’ about how this proposal’ll sit pretty alongside other drafts, givin’ the National Assembly a real buffet of options. 🍽️

According to Validator Queue (aka the saddest tracking site since your ex’s Instagram), withdrawals could take 15 days and 16 hours. That’s longer than most relationships in 2024. 💔 On August 14, the queue was already at 700k ETH-so, naturally, it got worse. Who saw that coming? (Everyone.)

Enter Egrag Crypto, a technical analyst whose name sounds like a minor villain from a science fiction novel, who’s generously warned us that things could get even more…affordable. He suggests we might see XRP sink all the way to a princely $2.65 before it remembers it’s supposed to ‘break out.’ 🤷‍♂️

Let’s talk about Circle and Bullish for a moment, shall we? Circle, the brains behind USDC (you know, the stablecoin that’s supposed to be as steady as your grandma’s knitting), and Bullish, Peter Thiel’s brainchild (because apparently, one empire isn’t enough), have both been making headlines. Their stock prices shot up faster than a cat video goes viral on TikTok. But here’s the twist-Circle’s stock has since plummeted like a soufflé in a hurricane, and Bullish is also having a bit of an identity crisis. Classic crypto drama, right? 🎭📉

It failed, of course, to recover. Ethereum, mirroring the lamentable Bitcoin, embarked on a fresh downfall beneath $4,650. Bearish momentum, they call it. I call it the natural order of things. It traded, rather sulkily, below $4,450.

According to a recent press release, 180 Life Sciences Corp., a firm backed by PayPal co-founder Thiel, is changing its name to ETHZilla, also unveiling that it is holding $419 million worth of Ethereum. 🦍💸

95.7% of voting Scheme Creditors supported the Amended Scheme of Arrangement … This outcome reaffirms the strong support shown in the first round of voting and reflects our community’s continued confidence in the restructuring plan.