mNAVs are down for MSTR (-16%), for MTPLF (-62%), and for SMLR (-12%). As Bitcoin volatility settles, it becomes harder for DATs to issue convertible debt to acquire more BTC. Because nothing says “financial health” like a 62% drop. 💸
Finally, wrap everything up with a humorous closing line like “Stay tuned, folks. The SEC’s next move might just be the punchline we’ve all been waiting for… or a new regulatory sitcom. 🎬” to keep the Mel Brooks vibe consistent.End of Thought (13.84s)
But wait, there’s more! A bullish pattern’s brewing, and exchange flows are screaming, “Buy, buy, buy!” 🤑 Yet, some traders might be in for a rude awakening if this rocket keeps soaring. 🚀
This past week, Ethereum [ETH] made quite a show of bullish antics, soaring perilously close to its historic pinnacle of $4,891. Alas, gravity (and market indecisiveness) has been a persistent foe, and the price continues to waver, sinking to around $4,225 as we speak.
Strategy, once a humble purveyor of business intelligence software, hath transformed into a corporate bitcoin behemoth under the ever-watchful eye of Executive Chairman Michael Saylor. With 629,376 BTC in its coffers, it stands as the world’s largest corporate holder of the digital gold. But pray tell, what is this “mNAV” that stirs such passions? 🤔
Bullish-yes, still carrying that Peter-Thiel-approved swagger-just walked down the aisle with RLUSD for their big IPO honeymoon. Instead of boring old bank transfers, they scooped up $1.5 billion via a gang of stablecoins: 75% USDC (safe vanilla), a cheeky 15% RLUSD (mint choc chip), and assorted sprinkles of PYUSD & USD1 (pick your flavour-someone actually chose bubble-gum).
In a perfect *”hold my beer”* moment, Pritzker didn’t just sign laws; he also found a golden opportunity to take a potshot at President Donald Trump. According to the governor’s office, Trump’s federal moves were loosening protections for consumers-*because who doesn’t love a good ol’ scam, right?* 😒
These jittery investors-let’s call them the “I’ll-take-my-toys-and-go-home” crowd-are acting less like seasoned pros and more like toddlers denied ice cream. Sure, they’ve been labeled long-term holders (LTHs), but let’s be honest: holding for 3-5 years doesn’t exactly scream “wise sage.” These folks are mostly leftovers from the 2021 buying spree, which means they’ve seen one bull run and apparently thought that qualified them for sainthood.
Originally a collaboration between Satoshi Nakamoto, the enigmatic wizard, and Martti Malmi, the early developer, this site was a secret garden for digital alchemists. 🧙♂️ Yet, like a phoenix, Satoshi vanished, leaving behind a legacy as elusive as a cryptocurrency in a bear market. 🧠
Now, it appears that a veritable flood of ETH is being unstaked, with validator exits rising faster than a soufflé in a hot oven. Mow, with the gravitas of a seasoned oracle, warns that significant market shifts may be lurking just around the corner, like a cat ready to pounce on an unsuspecting mouse. 🐱