Institutional adoption? More like institutional panic-buying. Singapore’s DBS Bank just launched tokenized notes on Ethereum because nothing says “financial innovation” like letting accredited investors gamble with crypto-linked securities. Spoiler: They’ve already traded over $1B in 2025. Congrats, you’ve officially tokenized your midlife crisis. 🏦💥
BeInCrypto, that intrepid seeker of truth, uncovered that Isaac and Alt5 Sigma, once JanOne Incorporated, are entangled in another SEC investigation. In 2021, the regulator, ever the judge of financial morality, charged Isaac with deceit. 💸
Behold, in the span of 96 hours-a fleeting moment in the eternal dance of time-140 million Ethena [ENA] tokens have vanished from exchanges. A shift, they call it! A shift toward long-term holding, as if the hearts of investors were not fickle, as if their resolve were not as fragile as a snowflake in the sun. 🧊
But wait, there’s more to this tale than meets the eye. Not too long ago, World Liberty was seen parting ways with a hefty 5,471 ETH for a mere $8.01 million at the modest rate of $1,465 per token. Oh, what a bargain, you might say, but not so fast! For you see, this same generous soul had previously spent a staggering $210 million to amass a whopping 67,498 ETH at an average cost of $3,259. Now, they find themselves sitting on a rather uncomfortable loss of about $125 million. Ah, the joys of speculative investing!
For those of you holding on to your Stellar bags for dear life, brace yourselves. The next few sessions might just determine whether Stellar can hold the line, or if it’s heading for a serious faceplant. 🍿
The swift ascension, following a prior sell-off, led to the liquidation of no less than $375 million in crypto derivatives positions. The majority of these, sadly, belonged to those poor souls holding short positions, who were swept away in the tide. Truly tragic.
The price of DOGE, that lovable scamp, has managed to wiggle its way up by 1.03% since yesterday. Not exactly a moonshot, but hey, every little bit counts, right? 🚀
In his usual deadpan manner, Powell informed the assembled masses (and those tuning in via livestream) that a 25-basis-point rate cut in September is about as certain as death, taxes, or your aunt sending you chain emails. But before anyone could break out the champagne-or, in this case, Bitcoin-he added the regulatory equivalent of “but wait, there’s more!” This isn’t the start of some extended discount sale on interest rates; think of it instead as a one-time-only markdown. 🛍️
The integration ceremony has expanded Ensemble’s Agent Hub marketplace, allowing users to indulge in XMTP support for a chat-native agent economy. 🎉
If this bill passes, state officials will have to fess up about any crypto holdings over $1,000 on their financial disclosure forms. And if they’re caught hodling more than that? They’ve got 90 days to sell, sell, sell! 🚀 Officials and their families (yes, even Aunt Linda who bought Dogecoin on a whim) are included. Oh, and no crypto transactions allowed during their term or for a whole year after they leave office. Because apparently, “one last trade before I retire” is now a felony. 😱