Cryptonews

As Powell charmingly suggested that the economy might just be on its best behaviour, gold’s price ascended gracefully by around 1%, flirting with $3,370 an ounce. Meanwhile, the dollar took a backseat, and Treasury yields, those ever-dull but essential actors, bowed gracefully, opening the door for our favorite safe haven to strut its stuff. The market’s collective imagination was stirred: perhaps we’re drafting a dovish masterpiece, and gold is the star.

If approved, this ETF will trade on a U.S. exchange under a secret code name (probably something like $MOONLAMBO). Investors can finally pretend they’re sophisticated while gambling on a token that’s down 5% in 24 hours. 🎰

00 UTC sharp. Imagine the excitement! 🕰️

The findings-because of course, it’s a finding and not a mere suspicion-reveal the United Arab Emirates (UAE) hoards 6,333 BTC. These were mined with the elegance of a symphony orchestra, not purchased like a loaf of bread or seized like a rogue’s treasure.

Summary

Michael Saylor, with the flair of a man who hath never met a ledger he did not adore, declared that Strategy (formerly MicroStrategy) hath procured an additional 3,081 Bitcoin [BTC], at a cost of $357 million, as if such sums were mere pocket change. 🤑

Last week, Ethereum pranced up to $4,946 like it owned the dang place. Then it dipped-just enough to keep folks sweatin’ in their boots. But lemme tell ya, the big picture’s brighter than a gold nugget in the sun. Institutions poured $11 billion into ETH this year, and U.S. ETFs are sittin’ on $23 billion like a dragon hoardin’ treasure. 🐉💰

However, the moving averages tell a more affirmative tale. From the 10-day EMA ($44.16) through the 200-day SMA ($29.32), every key indicator flashes buy signals, confirming an uptrend. It’s all dreadfully predictable, isn’t it?

This strength has caught the eye of veteran crypto trader CasiTrades, who now predicts the XRP price to surge towards $5 soon. 🧠✨

“This limited edition metal card gives up to 4% back in XRP instantly. No waiting, just stacking,” Gemini chirped on X. Which, let’s be real, is crypto speak for “please use our app.” It’s very… earnest. 😇