Cryptonews

Governance momentum: The Cardano Foundation, that venerable institution of blockchain wisdom, has approved ₳605k ($571k) to subsidize a content-delivery network for developers. A noble gesture, one might say, akin to a landlord fixing the plumbing in a crumbling tenement. Projects like Eternl and Vespr wallets, those steadfast tenants, now utilize this infrastructure, which could, in theory, foster a bustling metropolis of dApps. Or perhaps it will remain a ghost town, as all such visions tend to. 🏗️

In their filing, submitted on a Friday (a day when all serious matters are surely decided), they proclaim that this wondrous creation shall trade on NYSE Arca under the ticker GDOG, should the stars align in their favor. A name so apt, it doth bark with irony! 🐾

Should this bold venture succeed, we may witness a spectacle not unlike Mr Saylor’s celebrated accumulation of 628,946 BTC-an amount so colossal that even Mr Darcy’s ten-thousand-a-year looks positively parsimonious by comparison. Indeed, American Bitcoin has modestly begun with a mere 215 BTC, yet with a purse newly swollen by two-hundred million dollars, the gentlemen trumpet their intention “to build the strongest and most efficient Bitcoin platform in the world.” One wonders whether “efficiency” here means fewer fainting couches and more spreadsheets. 🤭

This SSK thing, apparently, had its best day *ever*. Trading volume went absolutely bonkers, reaching a frantic $66 million. It’s like a swarm of locusts descending on a field of perfectly good biscuits! 🍪

In practical terms, unload fifty grand of Bitcoin and the state slips a crisp hundred-dollar bill out of your digital wallet-so smoothly you’ll wonder if it trained with street magicians. The tax, should the legislative gods grin upon it, would leap into action on 1 September, scooping up two-tenths of one percent from anyone who dares swap so much as a cartoon ape jpeg in the Empire State. Think of it as a microscopic squeegee sliding across the blockchain, leaving behind faint streaks labelled “Upstate school rehab programs.” A noble cause, certainly, but try explaining that to the high-frequency trader whose algo just sneezed away its afternoon espresso money.

Since the last local low, there’s been a sharp upward trendline steeper than a mountain goat’s tail. If it fails, expect a free fall faster than a pig in a blanket. 🐖 The trendline’s probably gonna break, and when it does, XRP’ll be sprinting toward lower supports like a man chased by a bear. 🐻

Keyrock and Bitso, two gents sitting in a room smelling of coffee and fear of missing out, pushed a paper across the table Thursday and said the rabbit would grow to a trillion by the time the corn is tall in 2030. They smiled the thin smiles of men who’ve learned to sell tomorrow while yesterday’s bills go unpaid.

According to the ever-watchful defillama.com, the TVL may have taken a 3.23% tumble in the past 24 hours, but it remains firmly above the $150 billion mark-a testament to the sector’s indomitable spirit. Stablecoins, those steadfast wallflowers, boast a combined market capitalization of $273.3 billion, while DEX platforms waltz through $24.665 billion in daily trading volume. Perpetuals markets, ever the show-offs, processed $38.692 billion, and network participants generously parted with $121.27 million in transaction fees. 🕺💸

The result? A liquidation carnival, with over $1 billion in leveraged positions evaporating faster than a wit’s reputation at a Wilde soiree. More than 218,000 traders, poor souls, found themselves in the red as Bitcoin plunged from $122,000 to a lowly $117,000. One can almost hear the collective gasp of the market, a symphony of despair and dashed hopes.