Here’s the game plan: Binance is putting CELO and its sidekicks (read: tokens you forgot you even bought) in a time-out at 17:00 UTC on July 9, which hopefully gives you enough time to finish nervously Googling, “What happens during a blockchain upgrade?” The real party (and by party, I mean “hard fork,” which sounds intense and a little bit ‘80s) goes down an hour later, at 18:00 UTC. 🕑
Picture this: The numbers coming from the early social token explosion tell a tale so sobering, you’d swear someone spiked the punch at the annual crypto convention. Rally’s market cap plummeted from a staggering $479 million to a humbling $6.8 million—a drop that could make a rock climber feel good about their ability to hang on. And FWB? They fell faster than a lead balloon, nosediving from near $200 to below $1, which was less of a market correction and more of a “please, someone, help this poor platform!”
Meme coins, the darlings of the crypto world, are surging like never before, riding the bullish wave with the tenacity of a stubborn donkey. Backed by the unyielding support of financial titans like JPMorgan and the ever-reliable exchanges, these coins are not just a trend—they are a movement, a revolution, a meme-ocracy! 🌟
But fear not, dear Matriarch, for though they may have flown to distant climes, their hearts remain tethered to the warm and golden nest thou hast so lovingly prepared for them 🏠. The memories of thy tender care, the whispers of thy gentle voice, and the warmth of thy loving touch shall forever be etched upon their souls ❤️.
Bitcoin’s trusty Mayer Multiple sits cool and collected, not one bit overheated, even as BTC hovers dangerously close to its all-time high (someone give this thing a thermometer!).
On the balmy day of July 7, eager crypto enthusiasts across the vast wasteland of X (which used to be Twitter – but let’s not hop on that bandwagon today) were bandying about screenshots of a page that promised a token sale for Pump.fun’s native token, cleverly named PUMP. This delightful affair was proposed to kick off on July 12, featuring a 72-hour initial exchange offering where 150 billion tokens were priced at a mere $0.004 each. This masterstroke purported a raise of $600 million and hinted at a fully diluted valuation of $4 billion. Or, as the common folk would say, “a whole lotta cash!” 💰
What to know: Dogecoin has stabilized near $0.17 after a 4.6% decline, with strong support forming at the $0.166–$0.167 zone. Despite recent weakness, large wallet accumulation and easing macro headwinds suggest potential bullish continuation if resistance at $0.18, $0.21, and $0.36 is broken. Elon Musk’s announcement of The American Party has reignited interest in Dogecoin, … Read more
For those playing at home, this bombshell dropped right after Trump started waving his “One Big Beautiful Bill” around like a magic wand—clearly trying to overshadow Elon’s plans. But Musk, never one to shy away from a little drama (he’d eat Shakespeare for breakfast), saw Trump’s policy acrobatics and simply went, “Fine, I’ll do it myself.” The grown-ups are fighting. Pass the popcorn, please. 🍿
This isn’t your typical political story. It’s about what happens when someone with Musk’s influence decides that both traditional politics and traditional money need a complete overhaul.
According to a press release on July 7, the Nasdaq-listed company has made a bold move, selling about 280 Bitcoin and now boasts a treasury that includes a staggering 100,603 Ethereum, making it one of the biggest institutional Ethereum holders in the world. 🌍
